​Do you think your children are better parents than you were? Odds are, you don’t. According to a 2018 study by AARP, a startling three in four grandparents disagree with the statement, “In general, parenting today is better than it was.” They believe that discipline is worse than it used to be, and that parents today are both too lax and too overprotective.

Luckily, most grandparents respect boundaries and hold their tongue even when they disagree.

​Most, but far from all. Another recent study, this time of parents, shows that disagreements about parenting choices are common.
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In an August 2020 Mott Poll Report, 43% of parents report asking a grandparent to change their behavior to be consistent with the parents’ choices and rules. Although the Mott Poll Report doesn’t give specific examples of the conflicts, some of the disagreements parents have shared with me include:

“She’d never use the clothing or skincare products or diapers/wipes that we sent with her, and my daughter would get rashes.”

These are all examples of things that grandparents have not been willing to do when parents asked. Would you find any of these requests impossible to comply with?

Sadly, it’s not uncommon: according to the Mott Poll, fewer than half of the grandparents asked to change actually did so. 17 percent flatly refused, and another 36 percent agreed to do so, but then didn’t.

In the worst cases, parents limit their children’s time with the offending grandparents. But even if that drastic action isn’t taken, the relationship between the generations will suffer. When parents can’t fully trust grandparents to be on their team, everyone loses.  

We developed New Grandparent Essentials to help caring grandparents create a supportive relationship with the parents of their grandchildren. If you are a grandparent who wants to avoid mistakes, or a parent who is searching for ways to communicate better with grandparents, we've got you covered. New Grandparent Essentials can help you establish healthy boundaries. Get it today!