What Grandparents Need to Know About Screen Time
Screen time is one of the top three conflicts between parents and grandparents—right up there with food and discipline. Whether you're watching the grandkids for an afternoon or every week, here's what you need to know to stay on the same page as parents.
Updated May, 2026
Screen time! It’s one of the top three areas of disagreement between parents and grandparents (food and discipline are the other two). Here’s a common story:
When Stu went to visit his son’s family, he offered to watch his three-year-old granddaughter while her parents, Jeff and Melissa, went out to lunch. Jeff and Melissa set him up for success: they fed her before they left and told Stu she could watch 30 minutes of TV after her nap. They listed three shows that she was allowed to watch, and made sure he knew how to navigate to the right ones.
They had a leisurely lunch, and arrived home to find Stu and their daughter cuddled on the couch watching TV. The scene was heartwarming, but also annoying: the kids’ show playing was not one of the shows they had approved.
Knowing that Stu didn’t get a lot of time with his granddaughter, Jeff and Melissa didn’t make a big deal out of it, but they did ask Stu why he didn’t stick to the shows they’d agreed upon. “I thought it would be okay!”
Was a one-time exposure to a kid’s show they didn’t want her to watch going to harm their daughter? Unlikely. The bigger problem is that Stu put a chink in the trust he had built with Jeff and Melissa. A tiny chink, but those little missteps can add up to bigger issues.
From smartphones and tablets to televisions and computers, screens are pervasive in our daily routines. As screen time has become an integral part of our lives, it’s also become a common source of tension between parents and grandparents. Research from Rutgers University found that over half of the time children spend with grandparents is in front of a screen. And over a third of parents in one survey listed screen time as an area where grandparents don’t respect their requests. For many grandparents, it just doesn’t seem like a big deal.
Whether you think it’s a big deal or not, it's crucial to respect parents’ rules regarding screen time for your grandchildren. Communication and collaboration with the parents are key to ensuring consistency and promoting healthy technology habits. If they haven’t discussed their guidelines and expectations, ask about them. Make sure to express your willingness to support their efforts in managing screen time.
Although grandparents don’t need to understand parent’s reasoning in order to respect their rules and boundaries, it’s helpful to understand the impact of screen time on young children, especially those under the age of 5.
What counts as screen time for grandchildren?
Screen time refers to the duration a child spends engaging with screens, including televisions, computers, smartphones, tablets, and gaming devices. It encompasses activities such as watching videos, playing games, using educational apps, or participating in video calls. As technology continues to advance, children are increasingly exposed to screens from an early age.
How much screen time is too much? Guidelines by age
While the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) previously recommended avoiding screen time altogether for children under 2 years old, they have since revised their guidelines to reflect the evolving digital landscape. Here are the current screen time recommendations by age:
Infants (0-18 months): For infants, it is recommended to avoid screen time altogether, except for video chatting with family or loved ones. The social, interactive nature of video chatting engages babies in a way other screen time doesn’t.
Toddlers (18-24 months): Limited screen time can be introduced, but it should be of high-quality programming or educational content, watched together with a caregiver. The duration should be kept to a maximum of 30 minutes per day.
Preschoolers (2-5 years): Screen time for preschoolers should still be limited to one hour per day, focusing on educational, age-appropriate content. Co-viewing and active engagement with the material are encouraged.
These limits are all based on research regarding the effects of screen time on children. There is clear evidence that too much screen time can lead to problems from impaired language development to poor social-emotional development.
What does too much screen time do to young children?
Five ways to manage screen time when grandchildren are in your care
- Prioritize active play: Encourage outdoor play, creative play, and reading together. These give children what screens can't — real exploration, imagination, and meaningful interaction.
- Create tech-free zones and times: Designate screen-free areas like the dining table, and set times when devices are off-limits — during meals or before bedtime are good places to start.
- Choose high-quality content: When screen time does happen, opt for educational, age-appropriate content. Make sure anything you choose has parents' seal of approval before you put it on.
- Co-view and engage: Watch with your grandchildren rather than using screens as a babysitter. Ask questions, discuss what's happening, and stay involved. It makes the experience better for everyone.
- Be a tech mentor: As grandchildren get older, help them learn responsible technology use — how to find good content, and how to think critically about what they see online.
While a few minutes of Sesame Street can give a caregiver a needed break, child development research shows that young children learn far better from live interactions. When screen time crowds out hands-on play, children miss experiences their developing brains genuinely need. As grandparents, we're in a position to make sure real-world discoveries take priority over digital ones. Here's what the research shows happens when the balance tips too far the other way.
Language and Cognitive Development: Excessive screen time can impact language development and cognitive skills in young children. Language acquisition, vocabulary building, and problem-solving abilities may be hindered when screen time replaces interactive, face-to-face experiences.
Physical Health: Increased screen time is often associated with sedentary behavior, leading to a higher risk of childhood obesity and poor physical fitness. Encouraging outdoor play and other physical activities are vital for a child's overall well-being.
Sleep Disruptions: Excessive screen time, particularly close to bedtime, can disrupt a child's sleep patterns. The blue light emitted by screens can interfere with the production of melatonin, a hormone that regulates sleep. Establishing screen-free periods before bedtime can promote healthier sleep habits.
Social and Emotional Development: Excessive screen time may hinder the development of essential social and emotional skills. Face-to-face interactions and real-world experiences provide valuable opportunities for children to learn empathy, self-regulation, and emotional intelligence.
Attention and Behavior: Extended exposure to screens can contribute to attention difficulties and behavioral issues in young children. Rapid screen transitions and the fast-paced nature of digital media may impact a child's ability to sustain attention and focus on tasks requiring more extended periods of concentration.
Your own screen time matters too
Reducing screen time for grandchildren can start with you—and this isn't just about what you put on for them to watch.
Even a television playing in the background interrupts a child's play. Research shows that play is the most important way young children learn, so when background noise disrupts the quality of that play, their learning suffers too. That includes having the news on. It can be a hard habit to break, but when grandchildren are visiting, turning the TV off entirely makes a real difference.
Your own time on your phone or tablet sends a message as well. It's hard to connect with grandchildren when you're checking the baseball score. You can't engage in real conversation when you're scanning your email. Even glancing at your phone instead of your grandchild's face communicates something: that the phone is competing for their attention. Consciously putting your device away shows grandchildren they are your priority.
If you're looking for ideas of what to do instead, Connection Sparks has over 400 ways to engage with grandchildren that don't require a screen—most of them free, all of them more memorable than anything on a device. Being fully present during your time together is one of the most valuable things you can offer.
How grandparents can respect parents' screen time rules
While it can be tempting to think there’s no harm in a little extra screen time while Grandma’s in charge, it’s important to avoid ignoring screen time boundaries set by the parents. They have considered all factors and made decisions with the best interest of their children in mind. By respecting and adhering to these boundaries, you’ll be part of a consistent and cohesive approach to screen time management. What’s more, you’ll be showing parents that you respect their authority as parents.
Should you say something to parents about screen time at home?
If you're on the other side of the equation, and worried that your grandchild is getting too much screen time at home—should you say something? As with all areas of concern, tread lightly. As we discuss in Should Grandparents Interfere with How Grandchildren Are Being Raised?, consider whether you would speak up if the child was not your grandchild but instead a neighbor or friend's child. If you wouldn't try to change the way someone outside your family was handling an issue, you are probably better off biting your tongue.
This doesn't mean you can't work toward changing things, though. Grandparents can be great role models and advocates for their grandchildren. Start by working to limit screen time when you are with the grandkids. Offer screen-free visits focused on puzzles, crafts, reading, or backyard play.
Helping parents limit screen time
Parents often turn to screens because they simply don't have the bandwidth to engage their children in other activities. Grandparents are in a prime position to increase that bandwidth, either by helping parents more or by providing alternatives to screen time. Drop off dinner and new coloring books. Offer to take the grandkids outside on a weekend. Talk to parents about ways you can lighten their load.
If you have regular caregiving responsibilities, gently suggest that you work together to create a family media plan. This plan should cover parameters like timing, appropriate content, and device-free locations. Parents will usually be on board, especially if you present it as something you're doing together to support your grandchild's development. Healthy Children, the American Academy of Pediatrics' parenting website, has a free tool to help families create a personalized media plan.
When coming from a compassionate, supportive mindset, you can positively influence your grandchild's healthy screen habits. Avoid judgment and power struggles over how much screen time your grandchild gets at home. Instead, collaborate: share child development research, plan screen-free activities, and help develop a family media plan. That gives all those devices an appropriate place: being used for connection when you aren’t together.
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