Stress-free Holiday Meals with Grandkids: How Grandparents Can Cook Up Success
Holiday meals with grandchildren should create joyful memories, not kitchen chaos. With the right planning, you can spend less time stressing over meals and more time actually enjoying your family.
The anticipation is high: the grandchildren are coming to visit and your holiday celebration is going to be extra special. You’ve gotten the gifts, figured out where everyone will sleep, and planned out your menus.
Too often though, the reality doesn’t match the celebration we’ve envisioned. The sabbath dinner is spoiled by a crying toddler, or the teenager is sullen because she hates pulp in her orange juice.
While there’s not much that can be done about a sullen teenager, a conversation with your grandchildren’s parents can help to avoid some of the other holiday meal landmines. Make sure to cover the following:
What groceries should grandparents stock for holiday meals with grandchildren?
Get a grocery list so you have the right kinds of yogurt and snacks. Ask mom and dad if anything is off limits, and then respect their answer. While treats are expected at this time of year, make sure you are stocking up on healthy options that will keep everyone from going into a sugar meltdown. Have bowls of fruit and nuts more accessible than the cookies and candy. Do you have a nutcracker? A bowl of nuts to be shelled will be highly enticing, assuming there are no nut allergies. If there are allergies, be sure to be vigilant about avoiding foods that may endanger your grandchild.
Create a master grocery list. We highly suggest doing this digitally, because odds are it will be similar in future years!
What time should grandparents serve holiday meals when grandchildren visit?
You usually serve Christmas dinner at 6, but the little ones may be used to eating earlier or will be on a different time zone. Plan to have an earlier kids’ meal of noodles or chicken fingers—something they love that is easy to produce while you are also preparing the main meal. Let go of the picture of everyone enjoying the roast and potatoes together—that will have to happen another year.
How can grandparents get help preparing holiday meals?
Not every grandparent wants to single handedly orchestrate the holiday meals, and even those who do can use help. Let everyone know you’ll need volunteers, whether as a sous chef, dishwasher, or someone to cook breakfast the day after a feast. Send out a sign-up sheet a couple of weeks before you gather, and ask everyone old enough to assist to sign up for a slot or two. There are some websites like Sign up Genius designed specifically for this, but this can also be a simple Google or Excel spreadsheet. (A customizable sign-up sheet is included in A Grandparent’s Guide to Happy Holidays!)
Not sure how to ask family for help without sounding demanding? Here are some approaches that work:
For the whole family:
"I'm so excited we'll all be together! To make sure I can actually sit down and enjoy meals with everyone instead of being stuck in the kitchen, I'm hoping each person can pick one or two tasks to help with. I've set up a simple sign-up—choose whatever works best for your schedule and skills. Even setting the table or loading the dishwasher helps!"
For adult children specifically:
"I want to make this holiday special for everyone, including me! Can we divide up the meal responsibilities? I'm happy to do the shopping, but I'd love your help with cooking and dishes. What works best for you?"
For older grandchildren:
"You know what would make this holiday extra special? If you could be my sous chef for Christmas Eve. We could cook together and catch up—plus I'll teach you how to make our famous clam chowder. Are you in?"
The key is being specific about what you need and making it feel like an invitation to connect, not a burden.
How do you plan holiday menus for grandchildren with dietary restrictions?
Find out if there are any new dietary restrictions. Allergies may have been identified since their last visit, or their 10-year-old may have decided they are vegetarian. If you aren’t sure how to plan a meal around their needs, ask for advice on what to serve so everyone is happy. It doesn’t matter if you question the severity of the allergy or don’t think it’s healthy for a 10-year-old to follow a vegetarian diet. Questioning their choices just creates tension you don’t need.
Holiday Meal Planning Checklist for Grandparents
Use this checklist to stay organized and avoid last-minute stress during holiday visits with grandchildren.
- Three weeks before: Contact parents for dietary restrictions, allergies, favorite foods, and typical meal times
- Two weeks before: Create sign-up sheet for family members to help with specific meal tasks
- 10 days before: Plan complete menu for each day, including snacks and easy backup options
- One week before: Create master grocery list organized by store section; order any specialty items online
- 3-4 days before: Prep and freeze any dishes that can be made ahead (casseroles, baked goods, sauces)
- Day before arrival: Stock pantry with healthy snacks at kid height; prep ingredients for first meal
- During visit: Keep backup options handy (pasta, chicken fingers, PB&J supplies) for unexpected picky eating
Plot out exactly what you’ll serve each day. Don’t forget to include snacks—it will save on last minute trips to the store! Note that we say “serve”—this doesn’t mean you’ll have to cook each meal! Consider ordering pizza one night, or getting breakfast delivered. If you’ve had other family members sign up to provide meals, find out what they are cooking and whether you’ll need to provide any ingredients.
What holiday dishes can grandparents prepare in advance?
Figure out what you can cook in advance—having at least one element of every meal already prepared can save your sanity. We’ve got a Pinterest board with ideas for make-ahead meals. From snacks to breakfasts, there are multiple options that can be made ahead and frozen.
What realistic expectations should grandparents have for holiday meals?
The Norman Rockwell family dinner isn’t reality for most people. The main point of holidays is spending time together, so let family harmony be your goal. How do you do that? Make sure you don’t let the little things ruin the occasion. Little things like these:
Don’t comment on your grandchild’s picky eating.
If your daughter-in-law wants to host the meal, ask how you can help and let her take charge.
Remember that your grandchild has other people that want to spend time with them, so don’t get upset if their time with you is short.
So many of our holiday memories are about the food, but it’s the people that are really important. Enjoy the time you get to spend together, and let go of the picture of what that time will look like.
To make sure your holidays are memorable for all the right reasons, get A Grandparent’s Guide to Happy Holidays!
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