Making Memories, not Mayhem

​10 Ways to Make Visits from Your Grandchildren Go Smoothly 

Focus on preparation and keep expectations low to keep everyone happy when your grandchildren visit.

When is the last time your grandchildren visited? For many of us, it’s been well over a year. For some of you, your new grandbaby has never been a visitor to your home! Now that more and more of us are vaccinated and summer is approaching, many of us are looking forward to summer visits from our children and grandchildren. It’s time to think about what we can do to make sure everyone enjoys the visit—or at least departs without swearing never to return!
​
First, keep your expectations realistic. Yes, there will be hugs and funny faces and love flowing all day long. But there will also be crying, and small bodies whacking you behind the knees when you least expect it, and crumbs and stickiness everywhere. There will be parents having bad moments, and children having worse ones. It will not be a small slice of heaven. There will be wonderful memories made, but it will be hard work for all the adults in the house.

​What can you do to make more memories and less hard work? Parents want you to know that each of the following will make their, and consequently your, life easier:

1. Adjust to the children’s schedule. Understand that wake-up times, meal times, and bedtimes are important to keeping kids cheerful and well-rested. Find out what those times are and respect them.
2. Have some toys and books for entertainment. There is enough to pack when traveling with children without having to stock up on things to keep them busy. These needn’t be fancy—a ball and a set of blocks can go a long way. Borrow some from a neighbor with children or your library.
3. Find out what food you need. Ask about favorite foods and stock the pantry before your guests arrive. Make sure you understand food allergies, current likes and dislikes, and parent preferences for food choices. Ask about the parents' favorites as well!
4. Have parent-approved car seats already installed in car for airport pickup. Make sure you’ve installed them properly. Check The Car Seat Lady's website  for information and great tutorials.
5. Understand that kids aren’t always well-behaved. If your grandchildren are having a bad behavior day, it’s not because of poor parenting. It’s because they are children.
6. Keep essential equipment at your house. A highchair, portable crib or play yard, potty stool and other baby and toddler helpers will make life so much easier. All of these items are relatively inexpensive and will pay off for you in parent appreciation! See our list here.
7. Be clear about rules for kids. Let parents and children know which rooms are off limits or “adult behavior” rooms, and what is not OK to play with in advance. Make sure there is a space where play can happen without worry for adults or children.  
8. Be understanding when kids forget the rules or break things. If an accident happens, it’s fine to let the children know you saw the damage or misbehavior, but try not to show that you are upset—either to the child or the parents. Your favorite biscuit plate is way less important than the relationships that might be impacted if you get upset.
9. Always be willing to make a quick trip to the store if parents find they’ve forgotten to bring something or a new need comes up.
10. Read books to kids at bedtime and any other time. If you don’t have many in your library at home, visit your local library just before your visitors arrive and check out as many as you are allowed. A children’s librarian can help you, or check out our recommendations here.

Make an effort now to make stays at your house as easy as possible for the parents. This will ensure that visits will continue long into the future. Think of it as investment: As your grandchildren get older, visits will be more and more rewarding for you.
​
Do you have other suggestions to make visits go smoothly? Share them in the comments!