Holiday Traditions: Starting Traditions with Grandchildren
When we become grandparents, the traditions we cherish with our own children may not continue. But we have the opportunity to create new traditions with our grandchildren! Read to learn how those traditions can be an opportunity to pass along our values—and some ideas for creating a gift tradition.
When my youngest was not quite two, she had to be coerced to give up the baby doll she'd chosen at the toy store. I still have a clear mental image of the longing look on her face as we walked away from the Toys for Tots donation box. That tradition—saving change all year, shopping together, then donating the toys—became one of our family's most cherished rituals. It taught my children about saving and giving, and created memories that lasted long after the toys were gone. Now that I'm a grandparent, I want to create traditions like that with my grandchildren too.
What to do when family traditions change
Holiday traditions are part of the culture we create as our family shapes its values and customs. Every single family has its own unique culture, something we must recognize as grandparents. When our adult children start their own families, they start establishing their own family cultures. Sometimes that culture looks a lot like the one they came from, but sometimes it doesn't.
As grandparents, it can be hurtful or confusing when our adult children don't continue a tradition we value. When our grandchildren don't get to go pick out a tree because their parents opted for an artificial tree, we might feel they're missing out on something important. When their parents choose to raise them in a different faith (or none at all), it can feel like a rejection of our values. When they decline the trip to see Santa, it can seem like a criticism of our own customs.
Instead of concentrating on what breaking family traditions says about us, we should focus on what it says about our adult children. They're establishing their independence as parents and creating traditions that matter to them. We can delight in watching their family culture unfold and rejoice in the things they value. Understanding why traditions change can help us navigate these shifts with grace.
While we may be sad some traditions have ended, we have a wonderful opportunity to create new traditions with our grandchildren. Even better, those traditions can be a chance to pass along our values.
How to pass on family values through holiday traditions
One of our family’s favorite traditions passed along two values we wanted our children to learn. When they were small, we saved our spare change all year long in a special jar. Every December, we’d count and roll the coins, then take the kids to the toy store. There, they’d each get to choose what to buy with their share of the money we’d collected. Their decisions were never easy—they each thought long and hard about what they might want if they only got one toy for Christmas.
After everyone had figured out how to spend their allotment, we’d take our toys to the checkout stand. Every year, a surprised cashier always happily took our payment despite it being entirely in change. The final step was letting each child put the new toys they had selected in the box for Toys for Tots.
This Christmas tradition became a cherished family outing. Family traditions are important, and when you combine family traditions and values, you create a powerful message to your children and grandchildren. For us, this was a tangible way to show them how pennies and dimes could add up, and to let them in on the excitement of giving to a good cause. Saving and giving were both values we wanted to pass along.
Unfortunately, our grandchildren live too far away to make this a tradition we can carry forward. We’ll have to find other ways to create traditions with them.
If you want to start a value-based holiday tradition with your grandchildren, you only need to look around you to get started. The key is to figure out what values you want to pass along, then look for ways to share that with your grandchildren.
Maybe it is taking part in Christmas Eve worship as a family. Maybe it’s a New Year’s Day hike with litter clean up included. Maybe it’s making cards together (even if it’s over video chat!) to send to a local veterans’ home.
Holiday gift traditions for grandkids
Before Starting a New Tradition: Checklist for Grandparents
Make sure your new tradition will be welcomed by checking these essentials first:
- Discuss with parents: Share your idea before mentioning it to grandchildren
- Check for conflicts: Make sure it doesn't hijack something parents wanted to do
- Consider allergies/sensitivities: Food traditions need special attention to dietary restrictions
- Respect values: Ensure the tradition aligns with parents' beliefs and parenting approach
- Keep it simple: The best traditions are sustainable year after year without stress
- Focus on connection: Choose traditions that build relationships, not just create obligations
If there is a new grandbaby in your family this year, why not start a holiday tradition of a special gift that will show that you have cherished them from the start? Starting a collection on their behalf, and adding to it each Christmas or Hanukkah, can make gift buying easy. Even better, it will provide them with something special when they are grown.
Just be careful to choose something that will be easy to take care of and store, and that won’t be outgrown. In other words, a new stuffed animal each year is not the best idea! Here are four ideas that grandchildren and their parents will love:
Holiday books
Buying a holiday-themed book each year is a popular tradition. There is as much fun in selecting one as there is in the opening! What’s more, these books will be read and enjoyed year after year. Start with a board book like Babies Love Christmas or the classic Night Before Christmas. We love the versions from Hollie Hobby and Mr. Boddington’s Studio, but keep going back to the classic. As an Amazon affiliate, we may receive a commission for purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this site.
Holiday ornament
Choosing an ornament for your grandchild each year is another special way to celebrate. You can select one personalized with the year, or one that represents what they are interested in at each age. Either way, when they are all grown up, they will have a meaningful collection to decorate their own home. Check out Etsy for a wide selection or find one at Hallmark.
Commemorative coin
One grandfather I know buys each of his grandchildren a commemorative silver dollar each year. The twist here is that he doesn’t give it to them. He keeps them safely stored, and when each child reaches 18, they will get the whole collection.
They’ll know that Grandpa was thinking of them every year since their birth, and they’ll have something with a little value as they start their adult life. Find a local coin shop, or order directly from the mint. You can order from the US Mint. In the United Kingdom, the Royal Mint has a wide selection. And the Royal Canadian Mint also offers many gift options.
Quilt square
If you are a crafty grandparent, another idea for a long-term gift is to start a quilt. Each year, ask mom or dad to give you something the child has outgrown, or choose a print that showcases something about them. Then create a quilt square with that fabric (or start an old-fashioned crazy quilt!). When your grandchild grows up and goes out into the world, they can wrap themselves in memories and love.
Check with parents before starting a tradition
Whatever you do, make sure you talk to parents first—for two important reasons.
First, you want to make sure they don't have objections you hadn't considered. By running your ideas by them, they can remind you to skip the almond cookies this year because of the recently diagnosed tree nut allergy. Perhaps they don't want matching pajamas because they're worried about the environmental impact of fast fashion. Maybe they know their child is terrified by people in costume and don't want to create a negative association with Santa. Whether or not you think their objections have merit, it's crucial to find out what they are and honor them.
Second, you want to make sure you aren't hijacking a holiday tradition they wanted to enjoy themselves. I'll never forget my neighbor practically crying when she discovered her mother had taken the kids to the mall for pictures with Santa, something she had looked forward to doing herself. Parents get first dibs on all the fun stuff! If you're lucky, you might get to tag along.
Whether you want to start a holiday tradition with your grandchildren that passes on your values or one that simply revolves around fun, discussing your plans with parents is essential. Parents may have reasons they'd like you to change your approach, or suggestions for traditions you can all enjoy together. Family traditions that involve the whole family are the best kind.
The traditions you create with your grandchildren will become the memories they treasure for a lifetime. For comprehensive guidance on planning holiday celebrations that work for everyone—including how to navigate family dynamics, manage expectations, and create joy without stress—A Grandparent's Guide to Happy Holidays has you covered.
Frequently asked questions about starting traditions with grandchildren
How do I start a tradition with my grandchildren?
Start by identifying what values or experiences matter most to you, then find a simple, repeatable way to share those with your grandchildren. The best traditions are easy to maintain year after year and create opportunities for connection. Always discuss your plans with parents first to ensure your tradition complements rather than conflicts with their family culture.
What are good holiday traditions to start with grandchildren?
Popular traditions include giving a special book each year, choosing an ornament together, baking a signature recipe, attending a holiday event (like seeing lights or a performance), or starting a service tradition like volunteering together. Gift traditions like books, ornaments, or commemorative coins work well because they're simple to continue and create a collection grandchildren will treasure as adults.
Should I ask parents before starting a tradition with my grandchildren?
Yes, always. Parents need to know what traditions you're creating so they can raise any concerns about allergies, beliefs, schedules, or conflicts with their own plans. More importantly, you want to make sure you're not hijacking a tradition parents were looking forward to starting themselves. A quick conversation prevents misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
What if parents don't want me to continue a family tradition?
When parents choose not to continue a tradition from your family, remember they're establishing their own family culture—a natural part of parenting. Instead of feeling rejected, look for ways to adapt the spirit of the tradition to fit their family's needs, or create a new version just for your time with grandchildren. Focus on building new traditions rather than mourning old ones.
How can I pass on family values to my grandchildren through traditions?
The most effective value-based traditions involve action rather than just words. If you value generosity, create a tradition of giving together. If faith matters to you, share religious practices in ways parents approve. If you want to teach gratitude, start a tradition of sharing thankful thoughts before holiday meals. Make the values visible and memorable through repeated experiences.
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