What New Grandparents Need to Know About Food Allergies

Feb 24

Food allergies are far more common—and more serious—than when you were raising kids. Understanding what's changed could literally save your grandchild's life.

Bridget picked up her three-year-old son from Grandma's house and immediately noticed his swollen lips. When she asked what he'd eaten, Grandma said she'd given him a few M&Ms. She knew about his peanut allergy, so she gave him plain ones. But she didn't know that plain M&Ms are produced in the same facility as peanut M&Ms, and that cross-contamination alone could trigger a severe reaction.

Grandma knew her grandson had an allergy. She just didn't understand how serious it was or how vigilant she needed to be. If you wonder why today's parents seem so anxious about food allergies, you're not alone—but this is one area where understanding the facts could save your grandchild's life.

Why are food allergies more common in children today?

“When parents tell you their child has a food allergy, they’re sharing critical medical information, not expressing a preference or following a trend.”

When you were raising children, severe food allergies were relatively rare. But today's parents aren't overreacting or being overly cautious; food allergies have genuinely increased, and researchers are still working to understand exactly why.

The most common theory involves the "hygiene hypothesis"—that our cleaner modern environments mean children's immune systems don't develop the same tolerance they once did. Whatever the cause, the result is clear: more children have food allergies than ever before, and these allergies can be severe.

When parents tell you their child has a food allergy, they're sharing critical medical information, not expressing a preference or following a trend. Some allergies cause mild reactions like hives or stomach upset (the or is important—more than one symptom is a medical emergency). Others can trigger anaphylaxis, a life-threatening reaction that requires immediate emergency treatment. If you are faced with an emergency, call 911 immediately.

What are the 9 major food allergens?

The FDA identifies nine major food allergens that account for most serious reactions. These are the foods you'll hear parents mention most often:

Milk
Eggs
Fish
Shellfish
Tree nuts (almonds, walnuts, cashews, pecans, and others)
Peanuts
Wheat
Soybeans
Sesame

Some children outgrow certain allergies, particularly milk and egg allergies. Others, especially peanut and tree nut allergies, often last into adulthood. Only your grandchild's parents and their pediatrician know the specific details of your grandchild's allergies, including severity and whether they might outgrow them.

This is why the first and most important step is simple: believe parents when they tell you about their child's allergies, and ask them what you need to know.

What is cross-contamination in food allergies?

This is where Grandma's M&M mistake happened, and it's one of the most complicated aspects of managing food allergies. Cross-contamination means that even if a food doesn't contain an allergen as an ingredient, it might have come into contact with that allergen during production or preparation.

Manufacturers often process multiple products in the same facilities or on the same equipment. This is why plain M&Ms—which don't contain peanuts—carry a warning label about being produced in a facility that also processes peanuts. For a child with a severe peanut allergy, that trace amount from shared equipment can trigger a reaction.

Cross-contamination can also happen in your kitchen. If you make a peanut butter sandwich and then use the same knife in the jelly jar, that jelly now contains traces of peanut. If you use a cutting board for regular bread and then prepare food for a child with a wheat allergy without thoroughly washing it first, cross-contamination has occurred.

What does this mean for you as a grandparent? It means you need to take parents seriously when they say their child can't eat at your house unless you take specific precautions, or when they ask you not to give their child any food without checking first.

How to read food labels to keep your grandchild safe

"Made in a facility that also processes..." warnings exist for a reason. Food manufacturers include these statements to warn consumers about potential cross-contamination. For children with severe allergies, these warnings matter as much as the ingredient list itself.

Reading labels on every food is important. Allergens hide in unexpected places. Milk proteins appear in many processed foods that don't taste like dairy. Soy shows up in surprising products. Eggs can be ingredients in pasta or baked goods where you wouldn't expect them.

Make sure to always ask parents what their child can safely eat; when in doubt, don't give food without checking. Even foods you've served before might have changed ingredients. Manufacturers reformulate products regularly, which is why parents often check labels every time, even for familiar items.

What questions should grandparents ask about food allergies?

The specifics of managing food allergies vary dramatically from child to child. Some children have mild allergies that cause minor discomfort. Others have severe allergies that require emergency medication and immediate medical attention. Never assume you know the severity or necessary precautions without asking.

Essential questions for parents about food allergies

Before caring for a grandchild with food allergies, have a detailed conversation with parents. These questions will help you understand what you need to know:

Which specific foods trigger reactions? Get the complete list, including any related allergens (like tree nuts if allergic to one type).
How severe are the reactions? Ask parents to describe what past reactions have looked like so you know what to watch for.
What foods are safe for me to serve? Request specific brands and products that parents have already verified as safe.
Should I keep my kitchen completely free of allergens when caring for your child? Some allergies require this level of precaution; others don't.
What should I do if I suspect a reaction? Know the emergency plan, including when to use medication and when to call 911.
Where do you keep emergency medication? Make sure you know the location and basic instructions, even if you hope to never need this information.
Are there any activities or places I should avoid? Some settings (like bakeries or ice cream shops) pose higher cross-contamination risks.

These aren't questions to ask once and forget. As your grandchild grows and their diet expands, check in with parents regularly about any changes to safe foods or precautions.

Why parents are vigilant about food allergies

You might wonder if parents are being too restrictive, especially if your grandchild has never had a severe reaction in your presence. This is when it's important to trust that parents know their child's medical history and have guidance from healthcare providers that you're not privy to.

Some parents practice strict avoidance even for mild allergies because reactions can worsen over time or become unpredictable. Other parents might allow their child to eat foods processed in shared facilities because their allergist has assessed the risk as low for their specific case. The variation doesn't mean some parents are right and others are wrong: Each family is following their doctor's recommendations for their unique situation.

Whether you think parents are being too careful or not careful enough, your role is to follow their guidelines when caring for their child. If you're uncomfortable with the restrictions or don't feel confident managing them, it's okay to say so. Parents would rather know you're uncertain than discover you took risks with their child's safety.

How grandparents can safely manage food allergies

Food allergy management might seem overwhelming at first, but it becomes easier once you understand the basics: believe parents, ask questions, and when in doubt, check before feeding.

Many grandparents worry that food allergies will limit their ability to connect with grandchildren through cooking or sharing favorite treats. These connections can still happen—they just look different. You can still bake together using allergy-friendly substitutes. You can still create special traditions around food. You just do it with awareness and planning.

Understanding food allergies is one area where "it was fine when you were a kid" doesn't apply. Make sure you are willing to learn what you need to know to keep your grandchildren safe.