Hospital Etiquette for Grandparents

1/24/2023

Should you visit the hospital when your new grandbaby is born? If so, what do you need to know? Our list of the do’s and don’ts of hospital visits will help grandparents who want to go to the hospital when their new grandchild is born. You’ll want to read our tips before you plan a visit to your new grandchild and his or her parents.

You’ve been waiting for this moment for months (maybe even years!). Your first grandchild is due any day now and you cannot wait to meet her. But your excitement is dimmed when your daughter or son explains that they not only don’t want anyone else in the delivery room, they want some time to themselves before anyone else meets the baby.

If you’ve had visions of pacing the hallways while waiting for the baby to arrive, or planned to hold your daughter’s hand as she brings your grandchild into the world, this can feel like a major disappointment. But knowing that this is just the first of many times you will have to respect the parents’ wishes, you quickly shift gears and make plans to visit them in the hospital as soon as you can.

Not so fast! These days, it’s not a question of just popping into the hospital once you’ve gotten the news the baby is here. There are definite do’s and don’ts for grandparents and other visitors, and it’s important to follow them.

Here are some tips to help you navigate hospital etiquette and make the most of your first meeting with your new grandchild.

What to do when visiting a new grandbaby in the hospital

DO:

Call the hospital before visiting. Instead of bothering the new parents, ask the hospital staff about visitor times and protocols. Many hospitals still have COVID-19 restrictions on visitors, or require that grandparents have proof of a recent TDAP vaccine.
Check with parents before you come. They may be exhausted and need some rest, and may want to wait until they get home for visitors.
Ask if there is anything they need before you arrive: they may need coffee or a cheeseburger, or something they meant to pack but forgot.
Focus on the parents first. Ask them how they are feeling, and make sure they know you want to support them in this new stage of life.
Bring a small gift for the new parents, like a gift card for meal delivery. Save any other gifts for when they get home: no one wants to lug flower arrangements and stuffed animals home from the hospital.
Be aware that the new mother will likely want privacy for breastfeeding, and make yourself scarce as she is learning to feed the baby.
Ask before you touch or hold the baby. New parents may be planning on skin-to-skin contact, or they may have certain preferences for how the baby is held.
Wash your hands. Hospitals are full of germs, so make sure you wash your hands before and after holding the baby.
Silence your phone. Hospitals are noisy enough without the dings and trills of another cell phone.
Ask before sharing the news or posting anything on social media. Parents may not want pictures or even details about their baby online, and they will likely want to be the first to announce their baby’s arrival.

What NOT to do when visiting a new grandbaby in the hospital

DON'T:

Assume a hospital visit is welcome. In an uncomplicated birth, the parents’ stay at the hospital may be just 24 hours or less. They’ll be focused on the experience of birth and meeting their baby, and may not need the distraction of visitors.
Show up unannounced. The new parents may not be ready for visitors or may need some privacy.
Visit if you have any symptoms of illness. That runny nose may be allergies, but it may be something contagious. Wait at least a week after illness before visiting.
Ask questions about the birth itself. Most often, new mothers will bring up the subject if they want to talk about it.
Bring the extended family with you. Many hospitals still limit visitors, but if they don’t, you should. Hospital rooms are small, so limit your group to the minimum possible.
Kiss the baby. Newborns are susceptible to germs, and your mouth carries lots of them.
Take pictures without permission. The new parents may not be ready for pictures to be taken or may have certain restrictions in place.
Stay too long. Remember, the new parents need time to rest and bond with their baby. You have years ahead of you to soak in the love of your grandchild.

Above all, keep your focus on the parents and take your cues from them: This is the time to establish a lifelong attitude of support and respect. New parents need to know you are there if they need you, but that you are confident they will be amazing parents without your input. Your relationship with your grandchild will be stronger for it.

While many of these tips are common sense, it’s easy to focus so hard on your new grandchild that common sense goes out the window! Bookmark this post and re-read it when your new grandbaby is born.

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