Boost Your Relationship With Your Grandkids Through Laughter
Is there any sound in the world that’s more joyful than children’s laughter? Hearing our grandchildren laugh is an instant mood-booster! And while we don’t need any fancy studies to prove that, there is research that suggests we should seek out that laughter and join in.
Laughter has long been recognized as a social behavior that plays an important role in building and maintaining social bonds. From an evolutionary perspective, laughter likely evolved as a way for early humans to communicate safety and social cues within their social groups. When individuals laugh together, it signals that they are comfortable with one another and feel safe in the group, which helps to build trust and establish stronger social connections.
Researchers at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill found that watching a funny video produced feelings of connection in people who were strangers before they shared a laugh. Participants who laughed together felt that they were similar to one another, which made them want to get to know each other better and spend more time with them.
Other studies have had similar findings, even those which studied shared laughter in people with prior relationships. Study participants who laughed more together reported feeling more satisfied with their relationships and having more positive feelings about one another.
As reported on the website of Greater Good Magazine:
This finding also jives [sic] with Algoe’s prior research, which showed that shared laughter was uniquely linked to people’s overall evaluations of quality, closeness, and social support in their relationships. In other words, it’s sharing a laugh—not just laughter, in general—that benefits relationships the most.
With most children, laughter comes easily and often. When they are young, a simple game of peekaboo can send them into waves of giggles. Those giggle are infectious, so make sure you laugh with them next time you play! Games of hide and seek, chase, and tickle monster also lead to genuine peals of laughter.
Making up silly stories or songs is a great way to generate laughs as they get older, and neither requires you to be in the same place. Virtual visits can be just as full of silliness as in-person ones. More Than Grand reader Sheryl McFarlane, author of Welcome, Rain and other children’s books, shares one way she and her grandchildren laugh together:
One of the things we all enjoy is stretching books out. For example, in Sam McBratney’s Guess How Much I Love You, we like to play with exaggerating. Little Nutbrown Hare and Big Nutbrown Hare each describe their love in ever increasing quantities, and will do the same, but in a silly way. Or, sometimes we like to do the exact opposite!
My grandson will say, “I love you as much as your backyard full of soccer balls,” and I counter with, “I love you as much as a park full of soccer balls.” Just imagine that many soccer balls!
Or my granddaughter, who is a little older will say, “I love you as big as Karl dog!”
But, Karl is a min-Dachshund, so we both get a big of a giggle out of that as that is a pretty small amount love! Of course, we both know that our love is more like a Saint Bernard! But the game is fun, so I tease her right back and say something like, “I love you as far as Karl dog can run!” Well, with Karl’s little short legs, we both know that isn’t very far, so again, it leads to laughter.
Reading exaggerating the story’s content is also a perfect FaceTime or Zoom activity for those not fortunate enough to live near enough for frequent in-person visits.
There are lots of books that lend themselves to silliness and laughter. Here are some of the ones our readers have enjoyed:
Silly Sally
by Audrey Wood
This simple rhyming story is full of colorful pictures and funny moments that make children laugh. Our copy is dogeared from regular readings for the last 20 years. Challenge your grandkids to leap backwards or sing upside down to multiply the laughter!
Dr. Seuss was a master of the absurd. This treasury of his top sellers is a must have for every child’s library. Read any of his books and try to keep talking like one of his books after finishing, using made-up words and constant rhymes. Laughter is almost guaranteed.
Animals should definitely not wear clothing.
by Judy and Ron Barrett
Another book with a very simple, very silly premise. The picture of the camel wearing hats on his humps makes my three-year-old granddaughter laugh every time. Extend the silliness by asking your grands for reasons other animals should NOT wear clothing.
There’s A Bear on My Chair by Ross Collins The lengths mouse has to go when he tries to get the bear out of his chair are hilarious. The clever rhymes make reading this book a pleasure, and the mouse’s predicament will make even the youngest grandchildren laugh.
Runny Babbit by Shel Silverstein can be a challenge to read with it’s swapped letters, but that’s half the fun. The ridiculous story will keep you laughing through the whole book, and swapping letters in your conversation afterwards will keep the fun going.
I’m Just No Good at Rhyming and Other Nonsense for Mischievous Kids and Immature Grown-Ups by Chris Harris Don’t forget poetry when you are looking for funny books! The poems in this book are witty and entertaining to kids and adults of all ages. Make sure to read them with lots of drama to increase the comedic effect. My son’s rendition of The Sweetest Lullaby Ever had the whole family cracking up.
What’s better than reading and laughing? Dancing and laughing. Silly music is another way to get everyone giggling. Here are a couple sure-fire hits:
Family Music Party by Trout Fishing in America The songs on this album are clever and hilarious. I almost guarantee that “my hair had a party last night’ will become a part of your family lexicon after a single listen.
Backstroke Raptor by The Story Pirates The incredibly silly songs on this album are all inspired by story suggestions from children. The titles alone can make you chuckle, but kids will crack up at the lyrics.
Even as your grandchildren get older and think they are too cool to act silly, there are ways to get them laughing with you. Try a game of “Would you rather” where you offer them two ridiculous options and they have to choose one. (“Would you rather only be able to walk or all fours or walk sideways like a crab?”) Let them know what your answers would be, too! There’s a great selection of would-you-rather questions here. Not all of the suggestions are geared towards sparking laughter, but they are all great conversation starters.
If deepening the relationship with your grandchildren isn’t a good enough reason to try to spark laughter with them, here’s another reason. A study out of London suggests that grandchildren can actually help you feel younger, by encouraging you to take part in the activities you loved as a kid. So follow the advice of the poet Horace, who lived from 65-8BC: Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans; it's lovely to be silly at the right moment.
Timeless, ancient wisdom. Get laughing!