Why review a book written about interviewing your grandparents on a grandparenting blog? The Essential Questions is written as a guide to interviewing your grandparents and parents, but there’s a compelling reason for grandparents to read it as well: It can help us connect more deeply with our families. The Essential Questions is a gold mine of ideas for sharing your own stories.

Sharing family stories is one of the most important things grandparents can do. Children love to hear those stories, and the stories matter. According to research, children and adolescents who know more of their family history have higher self-esteem, higher social and academic competence, and fewer behavior problems.

Some grandparents are wonderful storytellers. My mother-in-law has always captivated her grandchildren with the stories she tells of her childhood in a small mid-western town. Whether it’s about the time she burned the popcorn at her grandmother’s theater or the time her older siblings locked her in the basement, she is able to make another age and place come alive.

For many of us though, we don’t think to include details in our stories that can help our grandchildren know us as individuals with rich personal histories.

The author of The Essential Questions, Elizabeth Lillian Keating, is an anthropologist. Her experience studying other cultures convinced her that the way an anthropologist learns about someone from another culture is just as valuable when applied to someone from another generation. She writes, “In researching this book, I’ve been surprised at the extent to which everyday aspects of culture have changed in just one or two generations. This rapid cultural change is what has given rise to the well-known phrase “generation gap.”
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After her mother’s death, she realized how little she knew about her own mother as a person. Her goal in writing her book is to help other families avoid that regret. The questions she developed act as story prompts, and will allow you to unearth memories of times, places and people that your family might otherwise never hear about.

“Nature buffers the impact of life’s stresses on children and helps them deal with adversity. The greater the amount of nature exposure, the greater the benefits.” Wells & Evans 2003

Do you remember playing outside as a child? I remember spending hours upon hours playing in the woods: making elaborate houses with fallen branches, shaping dishes out of the clay we found in the soil, decorating with flowers and leaves. I remember climbing trees so high I got dizzy and had to be coached back down. There were games of hide and seek in the tall grass of an empty lot across the street, and in the winter, elaborate snow forts and all-neighborhood snowball fights. 

Children need nature. And not just seeing it, but experiencing it: the feel of grass under their feet, the sound of the birds in the woods, the smell of wet dirt. Studies have shown that children who play regularly in natural environments exhibit more advanced motor fitness, including coordination, balance and agility, and they are sick less often (Grahn, et al. 1997, Fjortoft & Sageie 2001).

But for too many children, time playing in nature is a rare treat. 

So how can we, as grandparents, help?

It can be as easy as making your yard a safe place for exploration.
A child’s curiosity and imagination will guide them if given the chance. Provide your grandchildren with natural elements for creative play: sticks and stones and leaves and dirt and water. Keep a place for them to dig for worms. Let them make forts in your bushes and move the rocks in your border. Let them climb your trees and hang from the branches. Let them lie on the grass and watch the bugs. Let them pick your flowers and gather your leaves. Let them go barefoot and let them get dirty. Get out and play with them!

While planting and nurturing a garden is one way to introduce nature, you don’t have to do anything that structured. A small spade and bucket and a pile of dirt can often provide more entertainment to a preschooler than a carefully tended vegetable bed. But if you want ideas for ways to engage your grands outdoors (and in!), Camp Granny ​by Sharon Lovejoy has lots of inspiration for you. 

Don’t think your yard is very child-friendly? Check out Molly Dannenmaier’s book, A Child’s Garden, which provides dozens of ways to create natural play areas for children that fit into adult gardens. Find A Child's Garden: 60 Ideas to Make Any Garden Come Alive for Children by Molly Dannenmaier on Amazon.

No backyard? Don’t let that stop you from sharing the wonders and benefits of the natural world with your grandchildren.

Take them regularly to wild places. What counts as wild? Anywhere that lets them explore and experience nature, from pocket parks to nature preserves. Let them climb boulders and balance on logs, let them try to dam up a stream, let them feel the power of a wave. Need help finding somewhere near you? Here are some places to look:

Botanic gardens and arboretums often have spaces designed for children to play and explore. Even those that without children’s areas have plenty of places to roam and engage with nature. Find a public garden near you at at PublicGardens.org.
 
Nature preserves and wildlife refuges are wonderful places to search for lizards or wander through trees and over bridges.  They range from redwood forests to coastal wetlands. Wildlife refuges can be found on the Fish & Wildlife Services website.

National Parks are home to over 17,000 miles of trails and habitat protection for endangered species, and provide bountiful opportunities to explore nature. Find a park here.

The shores of lakes, rivers and oceans are varied and fascinating to children. Sandy beaches provide the chance to dig, sift, and search for different kinds of shells and sea life. Rocky shorelines provide tidepools inhabited by sea stars and crabs. (Just make sure you’ve read our post about water safety!) The Travel Channel has some great guides to beaches on their website.

Aquariums allow kids to see what’s under the sea, and most have touch tanks that let kids see and feel sea life up close. To find an aquarium near you, search here.

Hiking trails can be the perfect place to spend an afternoon. Google “kid-friendly hiking trails near me” to find out what your neighborhood offers.

For children, spending time outdoors should be experienced with all their senses. You can help your grandchildren realize all the benefits of nature by giving them plenty of opportunities for unstructured play outdoors. 

What’s your favorite place to take kids to interact with nature? Please share it in the comments!

Baby Aiden is about to turn a year old. His mother, Emily, is excited about the milestone but is dreading the celebration. “Christmas was a nightmare thanks to the grandparents,” she told me. “I know there’s no way to not invite them, so I’m tempted to just skip having a party.”

She wasn’t upset by the over-indulgence or boundary-ignoring that parents usually mention when they complain about grandparents. It was the way the grandparents acted with each other: her divorced parents couldn’t stop sniping at one another, her step-parents made no effort to be civil to the other grandparents, and her in-laws seemed to think grandparenting was a competition for the baby’s love and attention.

When you become a grandparent, it is rare for that to be a solo role. You are most often one of several, and each one is just as valuable to your grandchild. Usually, each one also wants to have the same close and special bond that you hope for with your grand. In other words, being a grandparent is not about you. Recognizing that you are part of a team is the first step of providing life-long support for your grandchild and their parents.

What’s the secret of successful teams? Working together, instead of competing with one another.

If you are lucky, you can get your children to marry your best friend’s offspring. That will guarantee you like the other grandparents! And while that sometimes happens, more often the grandparent team is assembled from people who wouldn’t normally hang out together. (In fact, in some cases, the team includes someone who has specifically chosen to remove another member from their life!) While it can be a challenge to navigate co-grandparenting, it’s important to make your best effort. 

There are a lot of reasons why it’s important to maintain a good relationship with your grandchild's other grandparents. The main one is your grandchild, and here's why.

• Your grandchild will benefit from having a positive relationship with all of their grandparents.
• Your grandchild will have the opportunity to learn about their family history and culture from every grandparent.
• A good relationship with the other grandparents can provide a sense of security and belonging for your grandchild—they notice how you treat one another, and feel uneasy when there is strife.
• It is far more enjoyable for everyone to spend time together when they are a united, harmonious extended family.
• Maintaining a good relationship with the other grandparents can help to minimize any potential conflicts or misunderstandings.
• It can be fulfilling and rewarding to have a close and positive relationship with your grandchild's other grandparents—after all, you are all members of the same fan club!

Fess up, grandparents: how many pictures did you take of your grandchildren this holiday season? Pictures of them staring up at the Christmas tree, or watching as the candles are lit on the menorah? Pictures of them in their “Baby’s 1st Christmas” onesie, or playing dreidel with their cousins? There are so many moments to capture during the holidays!
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Even if you didn’t get to be with them in person, I’m willing to bet that you got at least a few photos sent to you. Each photo is a memory that is now part of your family history. But what do you do with all those pictures now?

Now that the holidays are behind us, it’s easy to let those pictures languish on our phones or get stuffed in a drawer somewhere. But preserving memories is an important way for grandparents to create a legacy for their grandchildren! Someday, our grandchildren will love to look at the photos of their first Christmas, or the year they got their first bike.

One way to do this is by creating a photo book with the photos you took or received during the holidays. A custom photo book is an enduring way to keep your memories accessible and secure. While there are many online publishing options out there, I personally recommend Pinhole Press. Their books are of the highest quality, and their website is easy to use. (That’s why I became an affiliate for them—I believe they are the best out there!)

Pinhole Press allows users to design and create custom photo books, cards, and other photo products. They offer a wide range of modern templates and design options, making it easy for grandparents to create a unique and personalized photo book. There’s no better way to preserve your holiday memories.

To create a holiday photo book with Pinhole Press, just follow these steps:

Gather photos: Begin by collecting all of the photos that you took or received during the holiday season. Put them all in a separate, easy-to-find folder on your computer or phone to make uploading them a snap. 

Select a template: Next, choose a style for your photo book. Pinhole Press offers a variety of books to choose from, including traditional photo albums, hardcover books, and softcover books. For a holiday memory book, I recommend either a Story Board Book (currently priced at $43.99) or an Itty Bitty Photo Story Book (currently $14.99).

Upload your photos: After you have selected a book, upload your photos to the Pinhole Press website. You can do this by dragging and dropping your photos into the designated area or by selecting the photos from your computer’s file system. You can even add photos directly from your Facebook or Instagram account. 

Arrange your photos: Once your photos are uploaded, you can start arranging them in the order you want them to appear in your photo book. You can also add captions, change the layout, and apply filters to your photos if desired. If you have any trouble along the way, the help section on the website includes answers to most questions, and even videos to show you what to do.

Personalize your photo book: Add any personal touches to your photo book by selecting from a range of customization options. This could include adding text, changing the background color, or selecting a specific font.

Review and order: When you are happy with your photo book, review it to make sure everything is correct. Don’t forget to proofread every word: the most common spelling mistakes happen in the words we pass over, like titles and names.
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Then, place your order and wait for your photo book to arrive in the mail! You may want to order more than one copy: one for you, one for your grandchild, and maybe one for other grandparents or family members?

Creating a holiday photo book with Pinhole Press is a fun and easy way for grandparents to capture and preserve their holiday memories. It allows you to create a keepsake that you can share with your grandchildren, providing a lasting legacy for future generations. It’s the perfect way to document and celebrate your family’s special moments and traditions of the holidays.
Click here to visit Pinhole Press and order your photo book.

You may also like:

• A Grandparent’s Legacy
• Send Your Grandkids on a Virtual Trip to Spring Training
• How Do You Announce the Birth of Your First Grandchild?

Letters to grandchildren are a fun, meaningful way to connect generations and spread joy. Find out how to send fun letters to grandchildren with our answer to “What should I write to my grandchild?” ​

​Want a guaranteed way to make your grandchild’s day? No matter if they are 2 or 20, the answer is the same: the best way to deliver unexpected joy is by sending them a letter in the mail. Whether you live far away from your grandchildren or just across town, your grandchild will be delighted to receive a letter from you. What’s more, letters from grandparents to grandchildren are a powerful way to share your memories, values and love. 

Nothing says “I love you” like a letter in the mail! Grandparents’ letters to grandchildren are an amazing way to create a strong and lasting bond, even before your grandkids are able to talk. Letters are tangible proof that you are thinking of your grandchild, and a way to express your love and support. Stories, memories and details from your life will engage and entertain your grandkids.
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In addition to being a way to keep in touch, letter writing can also be a valuable educational opportunity for grandchildren. Letters can help grandchildren learn about family history and experiences, and can also help them improve their reading and writing skills.

There is simply no better way to link generations than regularly writing letters to a grandchild!

We’ve got the answer: Grandparent Love Letters. These beautifully designed PDF’s will delight your grandchild and create a written record of the memories you want to share. This set of twelve printable letter templates makes it easy to write a monthly letter to your grands that will foster connection and spread joy.

Every month has an overall theme and some prompts to help you share your stories. These prompts are just starting points, so there’s also plenty of room to write about whatever you have on your mind. If your grandchild is old enough, you can print and send a second copy for them to fill in and return to you. And if you send a self-addressed, stamped envelope, you increase your odds of getting a letter back from your grandchild!

So if you’ve ever asked, “What should I write to my grandchild?”, pop over to our shop and grab your Grandparent Love Letters so you can start sending love through the mail. For just $9.99, you can make 2023 the year you shower your grandchild with love every month.

Click here to visit the shop now. 

You may also like:

• 3 Ways to Make Letters to Your Grandchild More Fun
• 5 Ways to Connect with Your Grandchild Using Music
• The Gift of Play

​Getting to know your grandbaby from afar is hard, but distance isn’t a barrier to a baby bonding with grandparents.

Welcoming your first grandchild is so exciting, but not all of us can be there to meet them. When grandparents are at a distance, it sometimes seems as if we won’t have the chance to bond with our grandchild during the early months. We worry that missing that crucial developmental stage will have an impact on our entire relationship.

Have no fear! First, unless you met your spouse at birth or have never made a friend, you know it’s entirely possible to have a meaningful relationship with someone you meet later in life. If you don’t meet your grandchild until they are out of the cradle, you can still form a deep, lasting bond.
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Second, there are ways for you to make sure your grandbaby knows you from birth, even if you aren’t there. Babies learn through sight and sound, and you can make sure they hear and see you with these four ideas.

This plush bear from Amazon has a voice recorder inside. You’ll record a 20 second message, then send the bear to your grandchild’s parents. They can activate it so your voice becomes part of your grandbaby’s world. Not sure what to say? Sing a simple song like Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star, or recite a nursery rhyme. Or tell them how much you love them, or how much you look forward to meeting them. You can order the Record-a-Voice Bear here. 

Pinhole Press’ board books are ideal for helping babies learn the faces of distance grandparents. Create a book with 12-20 photos of you as you go about your day. Include pictures of you making silly faces or various expressions. Include distance aunts and uncles or cousins, if you’d like. My grandchildren adore the one we made for them with all their loved ones, and it’s held up incredibly well. Order your own book here.  

We are incredibly lucky to be grandparents in the age of video chat. Facetime, Skype, Zoom, Google Meet—whatever platform you use, having the opportunity to interact with your grandchild from afar is perhaps the most exciting technical advance I can think of (though depositing a check with my phone might be a close second!).

Just remember that a baby’s attention span is miniscule, and don’t expect them to engage with the screen for a few months. In the early days, just talking to them for a minute or two is enough to start getting them familiar with your voice. As they get older, they will eventually notice you and begin to interact! A great time for FaceTime is while they are having tummy time—just ask their parents to set the screen where you can see the baby and sing your favorite songs! Check out this blog post for video chat ideas when they get a little older.

The product development team at Hallmark clearly knows their market: They have a collection of recordable story books that are designed with grandparents in mind. The stories include some wonderful titles like Under the Same Moon, Even Elephants Have Grandmas, and All the Ways I Love You. You buy the book, record the story, then send it to your grandbaby. As parents share the book with them, they’ll become familiar with your voice. (Hopefully you will do better than me and be able to read emotional stories without choking up!) Find your favorite at Hallmark.com or your local Hallmark store.  
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(Just a note: Amazon carries some recordable books, but they have terrible reviews. The Hallmark ones are worth the extra money, so I linked to them even though I’m not an affiliate.)

Do you have any other tips for bonding with baby from a distance? Please share them in the comments!

You may also like:

• Helping New Parents from a Distance
• Distance Grandparenting by Helen Ellis: A look at how to be a Long-distance Grandparent
• Gifts for Grandchildren Who Live Far Away

First, let’s begin with a BIG disclaimer.  Not everything you do with grandchildren needs to be purposeful.  There’s great value in just “hanging out” with your grandchildren—listening to what they have to say, enjoying spontaneous conversations and outings, and just having fun with them. 
 
However, I think there is much to be gained from being intentional and purpose-driven in providing experiences and activities for grandchildren.  Here are two illustrative stories about our attempts to make family activities more purposeful and meaningful for our grandchildren.  We hope they’ll be helpful to you.
 
In our community, a savvy company sells ice-cream sandwich seconds, Fat Boy[s].  The sandwiches are seconds for a variety of reasons.  They’re missing something—the top or bottom of the sandwich.  Or the sandwich is incomplete in some fashion.  However, they appear to be the same because of how they are packaged.  If you were to look at the packaging, you would think there is nothing wrong with these sandwiches.   So, when the company sells them in our area, I buy a lot of them—sometimes 40 or 50.  They are cheap.  They taste great.  And my grandchildren and our neighbors love them.
 
So, how did I use these sandwiches with my grandchildren and their parents?  It was simple.  At the end of a family dinner, I told the grandchildren I had a terrific dessert for all of them.  I suggested it was a one-of-kind treat we’d never served before that evening.  Of course, the grandchildren were very interested in the dessert.  Take note!  Curious grandchildren are more attentive when you are trying to make a point or teach an important life concept.

I removed my box of frozen Fat Boy[s] from our freezer.  I then provided these instructions:

1. Quickly but carefully pull a treat from this box.
2. Carefully examine your treat before removing the packaging.
3. Then remove the packaging and see what you have inside. 
4. Also, look around and notice what others have.
5. Then take a bite or two, and then we will discuss your observations.​

Our grandchildren were quick to observe the differences among and between their sandwiches.  At this “peak” moment, I asked questions like these: 

1. Now that you’ve enjoyed your treat, how are these sandwiches like your life?
2. How are they like your friends?
3. What do these sandwiches teach us about ourselves?
4. What other observations do you have about these sandwiches?

It’s tempting for grandparents to buy too many gifts for their grandchildren, especially when they don’t see them often. The main reason I don’t might surprise you. 

I was having lunch last year with a friend whose second grandbaby had just been born. When we finished lunch, she mentioned that she had to pop into the boutique next door to get gifts before she went to visit her grandchildren the following week.

“What’s the occasion?” I asked her.

“No special occasion—I just always bring them something when I come visit!”

I didn’t want to rain on her parade, so I just smiled and accompanied her to the boutique, which was almost certainly designed specifically to appeal to grandmothers.  It was full of adorable toys and clothes and books and gadgets, all artfully displayed and temptingly priced.

I won’t tell you what she bought, but I was a little shocked by the pile of things she accumulated as we browsed. When I saw the size of the bag she carried when we left the store, I briefly wondered if I should share my own philosophy about bringing gifts when I visit.

I decided against it, but I’ll share it with you now:
I don’t bring my grandchildren gifts when I come visit.

One reason is that they have enough stuff, and their parents don’t want any more.

Another reason, let’s face it, is that I’m cheap and hate throwing away money on things that will quickly be cast aside.

But neither of these are my main motivation.

My main reason for arriving without presents is so that my grandchildren remain excited to see me. I don’t want to be greeted with, “What did you bring me?” I want the focus to be on each other, and not what may be tucked away in my purse or hiding in my suitcase.

What I do sometimes bring: a book we’ve been reading together, so they can see it in real life and we can pour over the pictures side-by-side. Recently, it may be a chapter book we are in the middle of, that I’ll finish while we are visiting. Or maybe I’ll bring a game we can play together, one that I’ll likely take back home so we can enjoy it at our house when they come visit us.

When he remembers, Pops brings treasure: a fake jewel and a pirate doubloon for each of them, which he’ll leave under their pillow to be discovered when we leave. This way, it’s a reminder of our visit, and a way to soften our departure.

What do we always bring? We bring hugs and time to give our full attention to these small people and their parents (who sometimes do get presents when we come, like tea and chocolate and books!). While I may change my strategy as my grandkids get older, for now, I don’t bring them gifts.

When I come to visit, I consider the visit itself a gift—to all of us. And when I arrive, I usually hear these words, “DeeDee! I missed you so much!”
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