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Looking for new grandparent advice? When you are thinking about what to expect when you’re going to be a grandparent, worries may not be at the top of your list. But most new grandparents have some fears about what to expect on the grandparent journey. Here’s some advice to help new grandparents get past their worries and experience all the joy in their new role.  Do you remember finding out you were going to be a grandparent? For most of us, it is a thrilling moment. We start dreaming of having a little one to cuddle and love. We’re filled with the anticipation of watching this new little person learn and grow. We are bursting with visions of the adventures we’ll have and the memories we’ll make. We can’t wait for the chance to pass along family stories and the traditions we love. Does any of that sound familiar? Most of us start daydreaming (and shopping!) long before the baby arrives. For many of us, though, there are also worries. We really don’t know what to expect as a new grandparent. New grandparents wonder:
These are the things that keep grandparents-to-be awake at 3am. The things we talk about with our closest friends. The things we spend time searching for on the internet. These are the things that we try to help you with at More Than Grand. We want all grandparents to be a source of joy for their families, so we provide the information you need to get past your worries and help you thrive in your new role. We show you what to expect as a new grandparent, and how to step into your new role confidently and intentionally. What to expect when you're going to be a grandparent 1. Family dynamics will change
As excited as you are to becoming a grandparent, that’s not all that’s going on. Your adult child is becoming a parent, and your relationship with them will change. It can be hard to break the parent-child patterns that have worked for you for the last couple of decades, and this can lead to a lot of tension and misunderstandings.
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 Should you visit the hospital when your new grandbaby is born? If so, what do you need to know? Our list of the do’s and don’ts of hospital visits will help grandparents who want to go to the hospital when their new grandchild is born. You’ll want to read our tips before you plan a visit to your new grandchild and his or her parents. You’ve been waiting for this moment for months (maybe even years!). Your first grandchild is due any day now and you cannot wait to meet her. But your excitement is dimmed when your daughter or son explains that they not only don’t want anyone else in the delivery room, they want some time to themselves before anyone else meets the baby.
If you’ve had visions of pacing the hallways while waiting for the baby to arrive, or planned to hold your daughter’s hand as she brings your grandchild into the world, this can feel like a major disappointment. But knowing that this is just the first of many times you will have to respect the parents’ wishes, you quickly shift gears and make plans to visit them in the hospital as soon as you can. Not so fast! These days, it’s not a question of just popping into the hospital once you’ve gotten the news the baby is here. There are definite do’s and don’ts for grandparents and other visitors, and it’s important to follow them. Here are some tips to help you navigate hospital etiquette and make the most of your first meeting with your new grandchild. Knowing what the risks to our grandchild’s safety are, and how to protect them, is the first step to preventing common childhood accidents and injuries. Read about what grandparents can do to keep their grandchildren safe from accidental injuries.  As grandparents, our instinct to keep our grandchildren safe is so strong! It can feel frightening to watch the news, knowing they are growing up in a world that often seems like a precarious place. Viruses, natural disasters, political unrest, global warming: There is so much we can’t protect them from.
But there is also so much we can do to keep them safe. Understanding the most common sources of accidental injury and taking steps to reduce those risks is something we can all do. Yet too many of us don’t take the time. If that's to change, the first step is to know what the dangers are. Do you know what the most common causes of accidental injury in children under five are? Here they are (in alphabetical order, not by risk):
Most accidents can be prevented. Are you doing all you can to keep your grandkids safe while they are in your home or under your care? Remember that accidents happen in the blink of an eye, and most of us are not as prepared for the impulsiveness of small children as we once were. Let’s change that and take these important steps to keep our grandchildren safe: Supervise your grandchildren at all times Never leave a young child alone, especially near water, stairs, flames, or sharp objects. If you have a pool, stream, or fishpond on your property, you need to be especially vigilant. Drowning is the leading cause of accidental death for children ages 1-4, and one that can be prevented with some simple steps. All grandparents should read What Grandparents Need to Know: Water Safety, even if the only source of water at your home is the bathtub. Is “boundaries” a bad word? Grandparents who don't respect boundaries may think so, or they may just need an open conversation around what healthy grandparent boundaries entail. If you are a grandparent struggling with boundaries set by your adult children, or a parent faced with grandparents who overstep boundaries, read on for some practical advice on healthy boundaries for grandparents.  “I’m so tired of hearing about boundaries. My son and his wife have all these rules about how and when we can see the baby and we constantly have to bow to their schedule. When I had children, we didn’t try to tell our parents what they could and couldn’t do. It seems like this generation of parents has no respect for their elders.” ~Message from a reader
Boundaries are important in every relationship, but are truly vital in the parent-grandparent partnership. We talk about them a lot here at More Than Grand, but when I got this comment from a clearly frustrated grandparent, I started wondering if using the word boundaries was alienating our readers. Try as I might, I cannot find another word that succinctly describes the limits and rules we set to protect relationships. So I ran a poll on Instagram asking our followers how they felt about the word. Over 90% of the grandparents responded that “boundaries” was not a negative word. Of the 10% who said it rubbed them the wrong way, none of them answered my request for more about why it bothered them. Is it really just a generational thing? The reader whose comment I shared places the blame on today’s parents, but every generation of parents does things differently. While parents may be more direct about using the word boundaries, I don’t think the desire for them is any different today than it has been in the past. I know I always felt my parents and my in-laws respected our decisions as parents, and most grandparents today seem to be open to working with the rules and guidelines parents find important.  Today's post is written by Sheila of Grandma Moves, an Instagram account that encourages everyone to keep moving throughout their lives. So, you're a grandparent! There just isn't anything comparable, is there? Everyone always says how wonderful it is, but you can't appreciate it until you are anointed with the label yourself. Then you know. It's magic.
Some of us have special talents or hobbies we cannot wait to share with our grandchildren – maybe it's looking through a telescope at the stars, helping them plant their own garden patch right next to ours or going fishing...It's exciting to consider the many activities we will share with them going forward! As the children grow older, so do we! Initially, when they are taking their first steps, it is simply holding out our hand for them to grab onto in order to steady their wobbly steps. Once they are confident and mobile it becomes a matter of following them around to make sure they are safe. We've managed so far, but what about when that grandchild is two or three and runs faster than we do? The child runs like the wind while we run winded trying to keep up! When our grandchild is over for a sleepover and falls asleep while curled up beside us, will we be able to pick them up and carry them to bed so as not to disturb their sleep? Maybe you are chuckling and saying to yourself, “This isn't me. I have no problem”, and that's great! I only want to bring to your awareness that if you aren't proactively moving about daily this could become an issue. As we age it's no secret that we lose muscle mass at a pretty good rate unless we are active and performing moves to improve our strength and build muscle. Why does this matter? Well, we want to experience that special moment of skipping across the lawn together while our grandchild is looking up at us giggling with the biggest sparkle of joy in his or her eyes. We also want to throw the baseball to an enthusiastic little player in training without pulling or tweaking something—and you know we can't wait to walk together on a boardwalk by the sea and join our grandchild when he or she runs off over the stony, uneven surface of the beach to look for shells. That's why it matters.  Being on good terms with the other grandparents in your grandchild’s life is an important way to support your grandchild and their parents. Baby Aiden is about to turn a year old. His mother, Emily, is excited about the milestone but is dreading the celebration. “Christmas was a nightmare thanks to the grandparents,” she told me. “I know there’s no way to not invite them, so I’m tempted to just skip having a party.” She wasn’t upset by the over-indulgence or boundary-ignoring that parents usually mention when they complain about grandparents. It was the way the grandparents acted with each other: her divorced parents couldn’t stop sniping at one another, her step-parents made no effort to be civil to the other grandparents, and her in-laws seemed to think grandparenting was a competition for the baby’s love and attention. When you become a grandparent, it is rare for that to be a solo role. You are most often one of several, and each one is just as valuable to your grandchild. Usually, each one also wants to have the same close and special bond that you hope for with your grand. In other words, being a grandparent is not about you. Recognizing that you are part of a team is the first step of providing life-long support for your grandchild and their parents. What’s the secret of successful teams? Working together, instead of competing with one another. If you are lucky, you can get your children to marry your best friend’s offspring. That will guarantee you like the other grandparents! And while that sometimes happens, more often the grandparent team is assembled from people who wouldn’t normally hang out together. (In fact, in some cases, the team includes someone who has specifically chosen to remove another member from their life!) While it can be a challenge to navigate co-grandparenting, it’s important to make your best effort. Why it’s important to maintain a good relationship with the other grandparentsThere are a lot of reasons why it’s important to maintain a good relationship with your grandchild's other grandparents. The main one is your grandchild, and here's why.
 When my older sister and I were first married (we got married the same year), my father announced that we could spend every other Christmas with our in-laws, but that we would coordinate with one another so he could have everyone home on alternate years. He loved nothing more than gathering all of his children around him—though we joked that he liked it best when we were all gathered around making no noise and no mess. My father was known for his mandates, so it was no surprise that he didn’t consult with us to find out what we might like to do. And to be perfectly honest, I found it made things easier: my husband and I knew that on even-numbered years we could make our own decisions, and that on odd-numbered years we would be gathering with my parents and my siblings. As the rest of the siblings married, they fell in line with the every-other-year trip home for Christmas. The family eventually grew to include 17 grandchildren, and the celebrations grew right along with it. Even after my father passed away, Christmas at my parents’ house continued. Now that the grandchildren are getting married and having children, there’s a further layer of conflicting obligations. Still even without being told we have to be there, we almost all make it every other year. Few new parents today would be open to having their holiday plans dictated the way mine were, but that was a different time. Parents today are comfortable setting boundaries and sticking to what works best for their families. There are myriad reasons for a new family to want to make their own holiday plans. Some may not want to travel for reasons of health or sanity. Others may want to start their own traditions, in their own home. Some may want to shield their kids from Uncle Jerry’s annual drunken tirades, which the adults have all learned to tune out. Unfortunately, many grandparents still want to operate like my father. Their expectations for the holidays hinge on what they want, and they become hurt or disappointed when their adult children reveal their own priorities for where and how they celebrate. If you are disappointed that you won’t be with your grandchildren this holiday season, that’s normal. It’s what you do with those feelings that will set the tone for future holidays. Disappointment is a result of your own expectations being unmet. It’s not because of what someone else is (or isn’t) doing, it’s because you had hoped they’d do something else. You have no control over what someone else says or does, only what you say and do. To avoid disappointment in the future, you have to share your expectations, and then adjust them if necessary. (See our Grandparent’s Guide to Happy Holidays for help with this.) Family events are complicated because everyone has expectations, and it’s impossible to meet them all. That’s why it’s vital to share your hopes early on, and find out what everyone else is hoping for, too. For now, though, here are some do’s and don’ts if you are disappointed about the holidays this year. Do:
My father was very clear with his expectations. Whether they were met or not, he didn’t make me feel responsible for his happiness. While I try not to be the dictator he sometimes was, I owe much of my success as a grandparent to him. Like him, I try to communicate my expectations to the people involved. I also recognize that they aren’t responsible for realizing those expectations. Most important, I have let my children and grandchildren know there is nothing I love more than having them all gathered around me—and I don’t even mind the noise and mess. You may also like:  Need ideas for toys to keep for grandchildren, or games and activities to do at home with grandchildren? Read on for lots of ideas for entertaining your grandchildren when they visit!  This post included affiliate links. I may receive a commission for purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you. Thank you for helping to keep this site ad-free. Some grandparents can fully enter into the world of a child and play with their grandchildren for hours. I’m not one of them, I fear. I need to have a variety of toys and activities to keep my grandchildren busy when they are at my house, but I also want to minimize the mess! This means carefully considering what I keep to entertain them. Whether the grandchildren are coming for a visit, or you are caring for your grands regularly in your home, you may also be faced with this question: How do I entertain my grandchild when they come to my house? We’ve come up with some sure-fire ways to make Grandma and Grandpa's house a special place to be. Activities to entertain grandchildren at Grandma’s houseYou’ll be surprised by how many things a child-free home has that will entertain your grandchild. Here are some ideas to get you started:
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