It’s almost that time: summer vacation and the beginning of the grandchildren visiting season. What do grandparents need to do to get ready for these precious visitors? One of the best ways is to help new parents by minimizing the amount of stuff they need to bring with them when they visit.

I’ve written before about how helpful it is to have baby gear on hand for when your grandchildren visit. Traveling with small people is hard enough without having to lug a portable crib, car seat and baby toys along. But what if you don’t have the room to store a highchair between visits, or it doesn’t make sense to invest in a really good car seat? There’s an answer: renting baby equipment for the duration of their stay.

What Baby Equipment Do Grandparents Need?
Whether your grandchildren come to your house every day or just once a year, there are things you’ll want to have at your house to simplify visits for everyone. For babies and toddlers, a safe place to sleep and somewhere to sit during meals are probably the most important. If your grandchild and her parents are arriving by plane, having a car seat already installed when you pick them up at the airport will earn you gold stars. (Just make sure you’ve checked with the parents to confirm you get the right kind, and read both the car seat directions and your car’s owner’s manual carefully to ensure you install it correctly.)

Those three things are the most vital, but there are lots of other things that will make the visit more relaxing for everyone. Depending on the baby’s age, you may want to have safety gates or an infant bathtub. You’ll want things to keep your grandchild occupied with toys, books, an activity gym or a swing. You can make bedtime easier with a blackout curtain, noise machine or toddler night light.

If your grandchildren will visit often, it may be worth it to buy the most basic items like a portable crib and foldable high chair. But it doesn’t make sense if they only visit once a year! Luckily, you can now rent baby equipment in many places.

​It’s important to know how to keep your grandbaby safe from foods that can cause harm.

Food. It’s the cause of many a disagreement between parents and grandparents. And it’s not just about Grandma sneaking a cookie to Junior before dinner! Dietary choices, feeding methods, food allergies and sensitivities, mealtime philosophies—there are so many issues that grandparents need to recognize.

Breast vs. bottle, baby-led weaning vs. starting with purees or vegan vs. omnivore: Today’s parents usually have strong feelings about how their baby is fed. Grandparents don’t always agree with their methods, but no matter what you think is right, it’s vital that you support your adult child’s decisions.

Unless your grandchild is showing signs of malnutrition, your role as a grandparent doesn’t extend to making decisions about how or when a child is fed. Make sure you know and respect the parents’ wishes about how their child is nourished. If you question what they are doing, learn about their chosen method so you can understand their reasoning.

Grandparents also need to be aware that food can be a safety issue. It’s important to know how to keep your grandbaby safe from foods that can cause harm. We’ve put together some food and feeding safety tips for you as a starting point, but you should always check in with parents to find out what's important to them.

The following food can cause serious illness in babies and should be avoided for the first year of a child’s life:​

Honey: can cause botulism, a serious form of food poisoning. Avoid all foods containing honey, including yogurt, cereals and crackers, such as honey graham crackers.

Unpasteurized drinks or foods such as juices, milks (raw milk), yogurt, or cheeses may put babies at risk for E. coli, which can cause severe and life-threatening diarrhea.

Cow’s milk may put a baby at risk for intestinal bleeding. An infant’s kidneys cannot handle the proteins and minerals in fortified milk.

Juice is not recommended for babies under 12 months, as its high sugar content is of little nutritional value.

To help reduce allergies, solid food shouldn’t be introduced until six months of age. While we were usually instructed to introduce foods in a certain order, that’s no longer seen as important for most children. 
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Once a baby begins eating solid foods, it’s vital to be aware of the foods that are common choking hazards. This list includes:​

These, and any other food that could block their airway, could cause choking. It’s a good idea to take a course on what to do if a child is choking, like the one offered here.

The way you feed your grandbaby is as important as what you feed him or her. It’s important to make sure food is cooked and prepared for your grandchild’s developmental stage. They should be sitting upright while eating, not crawling, reclining, or walking. Supervise your grandchildren closely while they are eating, and avoid giving them food in the car or stroller where you can’t see them at all times.

Being a prepared grandparent is the best gift you can give your grandchildren. While no amount of preparation can prevent all emergencies, knowing what the risks are is an important first step.

Author Jerry Witkovsky was not alone in approaching his role as grandparent from instinct and habit. Most grandparents do the same, assuming that love and enthusiasm are enough. In The Grandest Love: Inspiring the Grandparent-Grandchild Connection, Witkovsky makes the case for another way of grandparenting: consciously, deliberately and by design. This more intentional approach is the key to creating relationships that will sustain and enrich the lives of the entire family.
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Witkovsky was a social-work professional long before he became a grandparent. His professional experience convinced him that the grandparent-grandchild relationship has the power to strengthen families and communities. In The Grandest Love, he shares the results of over 25 years of studying grandparents and the influence they can have on their families.

But this book is not a research book. It takes that research, pairs it with his own experience as a grandfather of six, and presents the reader with an action plan for building a foundation of connection, communication, and mutual support. The book includes questionnaires, quizzes and templates for creating your own plan for grandparenting. These are paired with sample scenarios and Witkovsky’s sound advice. Sprinkled throughout are heartwarming stories from grandchildren about the impact their grandparents had on their lives.

The Grandest Love includes two valuable chapters for families that may be experiencing conflict and poor communication. Chapter III, Gateway to the Grandest Love: Rebuilding Trust, Achieving Forgiveness, shares suggestions for healing the rift that may already be in place in your relationship with your adult children. Chapter IV, TLC (“Tender Loving Communication”): The Grandest Way to Avoid and Resolve Conflict, presents a model of communication that will avoid future rifts and misunderstandings.

Jerry Witkovsky’s book is a great resource for all grandparents who want to make a difference in the lives of their adult children and grandchildren. But if you are struggling with the relationship with your adult children, it’s a must read. Get your copy today.

Want another powerful tool for creating relationships that will sustain and enrich the lives of your family? Check out New Grandparent Essentials, our exclusive guide for grandparents.

Do you remember when your baby was born? The doctor or midwife announced the arrival and gave you a quick peek of the child you just labored to bring into the world. Then the baby was whisked away to be cleaned up, weighed, measured and assessed. After an hour or so, a sweet little bundle in a knit hat and flannel blanked with blue and pink stripes was placed in your arms, and you got to properly meet your baby.

Today, medical professionals are recognizing that the first hour after birth is an important time for mother and baby to bond. In many hospitals, they no longer rush to assess babies and complete the checklist of newborn tasks. Instead, they give newborns a chance to acclimate to life outside the womb with a period of skin-to-skin contact with their mother.

You’ll be glad to know the little knit cap is still in the picture! Babies are dried off and placed on their mother’s bare chest, wearing only the cap. A blanket is draped over them, and mother and baby spend up to an hour or more simply enjoying each other.

This intimate time of relaxation is about more than bonding: it has immediate effects on baby’s physical, emotional and social development. According to research, contact with the mother’s skin stimulates the part of a baby’s brain that causes him to move towards the breast and begin feeding. This encourages physical development. Emotional and social development is sparked when the baby opens her eyes and gazes at her mother. What’s more, this period of skin-to-skin contact improves the outcome for both mother and baby.​

Studies have shown that skin-to-skin contact immediately after birth helps mothers by increasing oxytocin, resulting in lower blood pressure, a quicker return to pre-pregnancy hormone levels and lower incidence of post-partum depression. It can reduce post-partum bleeding, increase breastmilk production and improve breastfeeding outcomes.

For baby, the list of benefits is even longer.

Skin-to-skin contact immediately after birth has been shown to improve babies’ ability to absorb and digest nutrients and maintain their body temperature. Their heartbeat and breathing are more stable and they have higher blood oxygen levels. These babies are more successful at breastfeeding immediately after birth, and demonstrate improved weight gain. They spend more time in the crucial deep sleep and quiet alert states and even cry less often.
There are also long-term benefits of skin-to-skin contact, such as improved brain development and function and better parent attachment. Surprisingly, skin-to-skin contact has even been linked to stronger immune systems.

So why do grandparents need to know about this? Because the key to realizing these benefits is letting mother and baby enjoy this window of time without distraction. Grandparents are not part of the equation, and allowing space for parents to bond with their baby is the first generous act you can complete as a grandparent.

If you are lucky enough to be there for the delivery, this means you can help improve the health of both mother and baby by removing yourself from the room. As hard as it might be to tear yourself away, you can give your new grandchild and its parents an enormous gift by stepping away. Go get a cup of coffee and call your best friend with the news (but don’t post it on social media until you’ve been given the green light by parents!). Take a walk and dream about all the things you want to do as a grandparent.

If you aren’t there for the birth, don’t be hurt if you have to wait for a FaceTime call or visit. Your chance to get to know your new grandchild will come soon enough.

​And it will definitely be worth the wait. 

​Being the best grandparent sometimes means admitting the old ways aren't the best ways.

Quiz time!

What is the best way to introduce solid food to a baby?

• A.  rice cereal followed by fruit/vegetable purees at 4-6 months
• B.  liver soup at 3 months
• C. steamed broccoli florets or strips of well-done steak at 6 months or later

Which is the right answer?

Surprisingly, each answer to that question was the right one at one point in time.  (Yes, some experts in the 1940s recommended liver soup for babies starting at three months!)

Can you imagine the conversations when those parents became grandparents in the 1960s and '70s? They probably weren’t too different than the ones happening today as grandparents watch their 7-month-old grandchild gnawing on a steak bone or a slice of melon! (Read more about the baby-led weaning method that many of today’s parents are following in this post.)

Child rearing recommendations change regularly, as research and science reveal new information about what is best for babies. In the 1920’s, parents were warned that affection could psychologically damage their babies. One kiss a day, on the forehead, was more than enough, said some experts. Mothers in the 1950s were told that babyproofing was the lazy way out: they should teach their children to stay away from dangers or breakables by yelling at them if they tried to touch something they shouldn’t. These, of course, are the more extreme examples, but they underline the point that advice to new parents is constantly changing.  ​

​Poison Prevention Week is March 20-26, the perfect time to  identify poisoning hazards that might injure your grandchildren. 

 Before she could crawl, Amelia was the most content baby ever. She happily sat and watched the world go on around her, rarely fussing or making demands. Everyone who met her said the same thing: “She’s such a good baby!” And she was! Her parents quickly got used to the fact that she was no trouble at all.

And then she got mobile, and the trouble started. She got into everything, and the more dangerous it was, the quicker she found it. After months of having a perfectly behaved baby, her parents weren’t ready for one who tried to defy death on a regular basis. Even their best attempts at baby-proofing couldn’t keep her from finding hazards. They had the number for poison control on speed dial, and used it regularly. Luckily, despite her best attempts, Amelia (and her parents!) lived through all her misadventures.

The moral of this story is that babies and children, no matter how well-behaved they are, can get into trouble when we least expect it. As grandparents, we are often even less prepared for mischief: our homes are full of hazards. With Poison Prevention Week coming up March 20-26, I want to challenge you to check your house and secure any poisoning hazards now, before the next time your grandchildren are in your home.

There are three steps to protecting your grandchildren from accidental poisoning in your home:

1. Know what’s dangerous. Below, we’ve provided a list of some of the most common causes of poisoning. It’s not exhaustive, so go through your home and look for other items that may be harmful.

2. Secure all potentially hazardous substances. Remember, no container is 100% childproof. Keep all dangerous substances in their original containers and out of reach of children. Even better, keep them out of sight to reduce any temptation. Consider child safety latches on cupboards that contain hazardous items, even if they are above a child’s reach.

3. Program the number for Poison Help into your phone: 1-800-222-1222. Do it right now! (I just did it myself!)

Take a few minutes and find a safer place for the following common causes of accidental poisoning in children:

Medications. If you have your daily medications in a handy pill organizer (as many grandparents do), you need to make sure it is consistently put away where your grandchildren can’t see or reach it. Medications are the leading cause of child poisoning, and up to 20 percent of pediatric poisonings involve a grandparent’s medication. Make sure all medications, both prescription and over the counter, are out of sight and out of reach. This includes homeopathic and herbal remedies.

Household cleaners. Cleaners should be stored on a high shelf, out of reach and out of sight.

Dishwasher tabs. These shiny little nuggets look like candy to children.

Laundry pods. Like dishwasher tabs, these colorful pods appeal to curious children.

Tobacco and e-cigarette products.

Alcohol. This includes rubbing alcohol, spirits and hand sanitizer.

Pesticides and insect repellents. Make sure you check the yard and garage as well.

Button batteries. These are found in hearing aids, key fobs, books with music or sounds, etc.

Oils and lubricants.  In addition to engine oil and others in the garage, think about fragrance oils, essential oils, etc.

Personal care products. Secure contact lens disinfectants, mouthwash, and other items that contain toxic ingredients.

Securing your home is just one part of the equation for grandparents.
You also need to be vigilant is when you visit your grandchild. Do you have medication in your purse? Make sure it’s not within reach, even if you are just stopping by. If you are staying overnight, don’t leave medications or other harmful substances in your suitcase where they can be found.    

Smart grandparents make sure that they are up-to-date on health and safety issues. Make sure you’ve read our other posts on What Grandparents Need to Know, and get New Grandparent Essentials for even more information!

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​Wondering how grandparents can help new parents? Here are 10 parent-approved ways.

Whether it’s their first baby or their fourth, parents of a newborn usually appreciate all the help they can get. Grandparents can help new parents in a variety of ways, whether they live nearby or across the world. The best part? Grandparents who offer meaningful support to parents are actually laying the foundation for strong bonds with their new grandchild.
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As much as you want to spend your time doting on that new baby, putting your energy towards helping new parents will pay far greater dividends in the long run. By focusing on them, you’ll prove that you value your relationship with them—apart from their role as your grandchild’s parents.

When thinking about how to help new parents, don’t forget that the non-birthing parent needs help and support as well. It’s sometimes easy to overlook the partner that didn’t give birth, but they are also adjusting to their new role and the new demands on the family. Likewise, adoptive parents will need just as much support as any other parents.

As you read through the following ideas for helping new parents, keep in mind Rule Number One of successful grandparents: ASK FIRST. Don’t ever assume that your idea of how to help will be what new parents actually need. Read through these ideas, and pay close attention to number 9 and 10—they are the key to it all!
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1: Meals
Drop off dinner, or send a gift card to a local restaurant or delivery service. Find out if anyone has set up a meal team, and set one up if no one has. MealTrain.com and LotsaHelpingHands.com both offer online calendars so friends and family can coordinate meals for the family. We have many more tips for how grandparents can help new parents with meals in this post.

2: Household help
Ask for a list of things that need to be done in and around the house. Think beyond dishes and laundry: are there minor repairs that you could make, lightbulbs to change, a lawn to mow or flowerpots to water? If you aren’t local, look into hiring help if you can afford to.

3: Run errands
What errands could you do to help new parents? Return library books or drop off dry cleaning? Make a grocery run or pick up prescriptions? Take the car for an oil change, or just fill it with gas? Check with mom or dad to find out what you could take off their plate.

4: Walk the dog
It’s easy for our furry family members to feel neglected when a new baby arrives. Taking the dog for a walk or playing fetch can help their transition, too. And nothing lets your adult children know you love them like offering to clean the cat’s litter box or scoop poop.

​5: Play chauffeur
Getting places with a new baby is a struggle in the beginning, and it just gets harder with subsequent children! Having someone else take the wheel on an outing to a doctor’s appointment or the grocery store can feel like a luxury, especially if you offer to wait in the car with the baby while they take care of business.

6: Surprise the parents
While your instinct will be to buy gifts for your grandchild, don’t forget about their parents. Sending their favorite chocolates or a book you think they’d like is a way to make them feel loved. Send them our Cheat Sheet for Delighting to find out what their favorite small indulgences are, and then use it to surprise them from time to time.  

7: Don’t ask how they are
Dr. Perry Mandanis recently shared during an Instagram Live that he likes to ask new parents “How are you coping?” He explained that those words allow them to share what they may be struggling with, because it shows you expect things to be difficult and not perfect. If you ask “How are you?”, the answer will probably be, “Fine”, whether they are or not.

8: Send encouraging messages
Don’t underestimate the power of a text that says, “You are an amazing parent!” Look for chances to point out what a good job they are doing as they learn their new role. If they send a picture of your grandbaby, don’t just comment on how cute the baby is. Instead, respond with “That adorable baby is clearly thriving! You are doing such a great job!” or “I’m so grateful you keep me updated—you’re such a thoughtful daughter-in-law!”

9: Ask what would be most helpful
Some parents welcome all the help they can get. Others see offers to assist as insulting or interfering. It’s important to know how your grandchild’s parents feel on the subject. Have a conversation or send an email to find out. Let them know you want to support them, and ask if they are open to help. Then outline the ideas you have, and ask if there are any that would work for them. Invite them to suggest other ways you could be useful. If they decline all help, let them know you are available if they ever change their mind.

10: Respect their wishes
This is listed last, but it’s actually the most helpful thing you can do. Whether you call them requests, boundaries, rules or demands, parents aren’t asking you to comply if it makes sense to you. When new parents make their wishes known, smart grandparents listen and go along with the request.

Have you found other ways to help new parents? Please share them in the comments!