Why review a book written about interviewing your grandparents on a grandparenting blog? The Essential Questions is written as a guide to interviewing your grandparents and parents, but there’s a compelling reason for grandparents to read it as well: It can help us connect more deeply with our families. The Essential Questions is a gold mine of ideas for sharing your own stories.

Sharing family stories is one of the most important things grandparents can do. Children love to hear those stories, and the stories matter. According to research, children and adolescents who know more of their family history have higher self-esteem, higher social and academic competence, and fewer behavior problems.

Some grandparents are wonderful storytellers. My mother-in-law has always captivated her grandchildren with the stories she tells of her childhood in a small mid-western town. Whether it’s about the time she burned the popcorn at her grandmother’s theater or the time her older siblings locked her in the basement, she is able to make another age and place come alive.

For many of us though, we don’t think to include details in our stories that can help our grandchildren know us as individuals with rich personal histories.

The author of The Essential Questions, Elizabeth Lillian Keating, is an anthropologist. Her experience studying other cultures convinced her that the way an anthropologist learns about someone from another culture is just as valuable when applied to someone from another generation. She writes, “In researching this book, I’ve been surprised at the extent to which everyday aspects of culture have changed in just one or two generations. This rapid cultural change is what has given rise to the well-known phrase “generation gap.”
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After her mother’s death, she realized how little she knew about her own mother as a person. Her goal in writing her book is to help other families avoid that regret. The questions she developed act as story prompts, and will allow you to unearth memories of times, places and people that your family might otherwise never hear about.

​A review of Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be
​by Dr. Becky Kennedy

“Understanding has one goal: connection. And because connecting to our kids is how they learn to regulate their emotions and feel good inside, understanding will come up over and over again as a goal of communication.”
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As you can tell by the title, Good Inside is a parenting book, not a book about grandparenting. When I set out to read it for a chat with Emily and Mike Morgan for The Grand Life Podcast, I didn’t plan to review it for you. Normally, I review grandparenting books, and books for your grandchildren. I don’t review parenting books.

Yet here I am, reviewing a parenting book--because I think grandparents should read it.

Why should grandparents read this review, and then read this book? Two reasons. One, it may help you understand how your grandchildren are being raised. And two, it may help you improve the relationships you have with…well, everyone.

Let’s address the first reason. Good Inside is a how-to book for parents who want to raise their children with an emphasis on connection rather than control. Dr. Kennedy, like many modern parenting experts, believes that the healthiest way to raise a child is to help them learn to regulate their emotions, their moods, and eventually their actions. By recognizing that a child’s actions are age-appropriate expressions of their emotions, a parent can strive for connection rather than control.

This approach is the basis for parenting philosophies like positive parenting and gentle parenting. It doesn’t mean parents don’t set boundaries; in fact, strong boundaries are a crucial part of the picture. If your children are following one of these current parenting trends, reading Good Inside will help you understand and support them as they raise your grandchildren.

As for the second reason grandparents should read this book: it contains simple wisdom that will help you better communicate with your spouse, your parents, your children, your boss, your employees, your neighbors, your friends…you get the picture.

Dr. Kennedy has two easy-to-remember mantras that make true connection possible. One is the “Most Generous Interpretation” or MGI. This is the idea that in any situation, thinking the best of the person instead of the worst will help you respond in a kind way. For parents, this may be recognizing that the child who pushed a toddler off the slide is not a bad kid, and not a product of bad parenting. Instead, it’s a child who is having a hard time, and acting badly because of it.

Try summoning the MGI next time you are cut off in traffic by an inconsiderate driver. What if, instead of swearing that they need to do something about giving licenses to idiots, you think of a scenario that explains their action in a generous light: maybe they are distracted because they just got bad new on a phone call. Maybe they are racing to pick up their wife who called to say she’s in labor.

Doing this won’t change the fact they cut you off, but it is likely to make you feel calmer and less upset. Applying this same principal to the people in your life will help you treat them with grace and respect.

The other principal that Dr Kennedy encourages parents to embrace is the idea that “Two Things Are True.” You’ll see in this paragraph from her book why this will help you in all your relationships:

Building strong connections relies on the assumption that no one is right in the absolute, because understanding, not convincing, is what makes people feel secure in a relationship. What do I mean by understanding and not convincing? Well, when we seek to understand, we attempt to see and learn more about another person’s perspective, feelings, and experience. We essentially say to that person, “I am having one experience and you are having a different experience. I want to get to know what’s happening for you.” It doesn’t mean you agree or comply (these would imply a “one thing is true” perspective), or that we are “wrong” or our truth doesn’t hold; it means we are willing to put our own experience aside for a moment to get to know someone else’s. When we approach someone with the goal of understanding, we accept that there isn’t one correct interpretation of a set of facts, but rather multiple experiences and viewpoints.

A good portion of Good Inside is made up of advice for specific behavior struggles. Grandparents may find this less interesting, unless they are involved in day-to-day care for their grandchildren. Because of this, you may hesitate to buy the book. My suggestion? Buy a copy and pass it on to your kids when you are done. Don’t tell them you think it’s how they should parent, just let them know you found it interesting and would love to know what they think after they’ve read it.

It's likely to be a great conversation!

Speaking of conversations, make sure you’ve subscribed to The Grand Life wherever you get your podcasts so you don’t miss the episode where I discuss this book and more with Emily & Mike Morgan.

A Guide to Navigating the Joys and Challenges of Being A Grandparent Today

One thing many grandparents overlook in their excitement over becoming a grandparent is how it changes the relationship with their adult children. The rules and habits of decades must be entirely re-shaped—sometimes quite suddenly. If there is any tension in the relationship, this change can amplify it.

Unconditional Love is a must read for all grandparents who want to ensure they are tending to the relationship with their grandchild’s parents.  It will help you understand the complicated family dimensions that are created when a new baby arrives.  Whether you have a strong and wonderful relationship with your child and their partner or not, Isay provides solid advice for forming the bond you wish to form with your grandchildren.
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Her acknowledgement of the conflicts, problems and politics of family life provides a framework for creating a healthy relationship with your grandchildren and their parents. Through interviews, research and her own experience, Isay provides plenty of food for thought for anyone who wants to make the most of being a grandparent.

If you are just starting your grandparent journey, or are a veteran grandparent who is experiencing any tension in your relationship with your adult children, this book is a must-read. You can likely find a copy at your local library, but it’s well worth buying, as it will be a useful reference in the years to come.

Purchase a copy now from Amazon.
(Did you know that if you make a purchase from Amazon through our links, we get a small commission even though it doesn’t cost you anything extra? That money goes to help cover the cost of creating and maintaining everything More Than Grand does. It’s an easy way for you to help keep our website up and running, and we appreciate your support!)

“To be purposeful is to be focused and intentional in your grandparenting. You are clear about what you are trying to contribute to your grandchildren’s happiness and how you hope to be useful to them and their parents.”

M. Winston Egan and Linda Egan, authors of  
Grandparenting on Purpose: Fresh Ideas, Activities and Traditions for Connecting with Grandchildren Near and Far

The Egans could be considered professional grandparents, with 22 grandchildren when their book was published, and they confess that they are a little “over the top” in their grandparenting. It is clearly a calling of the highest priority in this season of their lives, and this book is proof of their dedication to that calling. Grandparenting on Purpose is packed with ideas for connecting, and connecting genuinely and deeply. While not everyone is prepared to list grandparent as their primary job title, the Egans have much to teach those who may be more casual in their approach.

Grandparenting on Purpose will be especially helpful for those with older grandchildren. For example, the chapter entitled “Discovering the Needs of Your Grandchildren and Parents” has excellent ideas for connecting, but most really apply to children of school age and above. New grandparents will find plenty of inspiration for the years to come, but perhaps less that they can immediately apply.

Other chapters are dedicated to traditions, routines, and family themes, with in-depth explanations of the Egans’ own family’s practices. Peppered with feedback from their grandchildren, it’s clear that the traditions and activities they’ve initiated over the years have had a positive impact on their family. As they share what has worked for them, they also provide suggestion for implementing their ideas with your children and grandchildren. Each chapter ends with prompts for you to reflect and record, helping you to organize your thoughts and decide how to apply what you’ve read to your own family.

Grandparenting on Purpose has a distinctly Christian perspective, with occasional references to prayer and faith throughout the book. Some readers may find that is foreign to their own family experience. However, if you are looking for ideas for sharing your faith with your grandchildren, the chapter on building spirituality can be applied to any faith.

If you’ve created a Grand Plan through New Grandparent Essentials, and your intention is to be a fully-present influence on your grandchild’s life, Grandparenting on Purpose should be on your shelf to refer to in the years to come. (And if you haven't yet taken time to reflect on what your goals as a grandparent are, there's no better time than now!)

Order a copy of Grandparenting on Purpose from Amazon.
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Through a series of insightful essays, Marilyn McEntyre and Shirley Showalter join us on that learning edge. As they reflect on the joys and struggles of grandparenting, the authors encourage grandparents to observe, listen and learn from the younger generations.

Unlike most books filled with essays on grandparenting, The Mindful Grandparent: The Art of Loving Our Children's Children does more than just muse on the authors’ own experiences. Each chapter ends with suggestions and resources, giving readers room to grow into their own understanding of the topic at hand. For example, the chapter on “Grandparent Camp” shares Shirley’s experience with her own grandchildren and thoughts of why such powerful memories are made during their Grandparent Camp weeks. She then provides ideas for getting more information to plan your own camp for your grandchildren, and further reading on making memories.

The Mindful Grandparent also goes beyond the expected subjects of getting along with the other grandparents and not buying too many toys. While those things are covered, there are also reflections on encouraging natural talents and introducing racial justice and inclusion. This makes the book a far richer source of insight, and reinforces the core premise that grandparents have an enormous opportunity to influence their grandchildren’s lives in any number of areas.

This is not an instruction book. The authors make it clear that there is no single way to be a good grandparent. There are no “must do’s” involved, only invitations to consider. If you are someone who likes very specific action steps, this may frustrate you. If, however, you are looking for new ways to think about the impact you can have as a grandparent, it’s a perfect choice.

I read this book in tiny bites: one chapter a day with my lunch. It gave me room to think about each topic and how it might inform my own experience as a grandparent. It also gave me the opportunity to enjoy the beautiful writing from each of the authors. If you are looking for a way to deepen the experience of being a grandparent, The Mindful Grandparent is an excellent choice. 

Want a copy of your own to enjoy with your lunch? Order one today from Amazon!

Are you an energetic grandparent who loves to get in on your grandchildren’s games, or one who prefers to observe them as they play? In either case, you’ll find The Gift of Play both fascinating and helpful. Van Hoorn’s book explores and explains the importance of play for children, and how grandparents can foster and participate in their games and interests.

I consider myself more of an observer than a playmate, yet The Gift of Play expanded my understanding of play and made me realize I participate quite often. Reading stories, exploring math and nature, and enjoying art and music are all forms of play for children, and I love those activities. Judith Van Hoorn provides background on how a child’s mind develops and how play fosters that development, plus activity tips and charming stories of grandparents and grandchildren playing together.

Van Hoorn tackles each area of play separately, providing evidence for their importance and examples of how children engage in them. While most of the book focuses on early childhood, when play is the all-encompassing center of a child’s life, she includes a chapter on the play of older children. She recognizes that grandparents may not live near enough to play with their grandkids in person, and includes ideas for playing from a distance. She also provides a useful list of resources for grandparents who want to learn more about how they can enter into their grandchildren’s world and support their development.

Van Hoorn is an expert on play, having studied, taught and written about children’s play for decades. She has, quite literally, written the textbook on play. This book, however, is not a textbook. It’s an engaging resource for grandparents who want to help support their grandchildren’s learning and development while creating memories and deeper bonds. I highly recommend it for any grandparent who wants to make their time with their grandchildren richer and more meaningful.

Purchase a copy now from Amazon.

(Did you know that if you make a purchase from Amazon through our links, we get a small commission even though it doesn’t cost you anything extra? That money goes to help cover the cost of creating and maintaining everything More Than Grand does. It’s an easy way for you to help keep our website up and running, and we appreciate your support!)

These 8 Picture books about grandfathers make great gifts for grandfathers for Father’s Day or any occasion.

While grandmothers get the lion’s share of attention in the media, picture book authors are far more even-handed. Quality children’s books featuring grandfathers abound, and it was hard to choose our favorites! Here are eight pictures books with grandfathers that both we and our grandchildren love.

When Grandpa Give You a Toolbox 
by Jamie L.B. Deenihan

Written by the same author as When Grandma Give You a Lemon Tree, this story is just as much fun. When a boy gets a toolbox from his grandpa instead of the dollhouse he requested, he’s disappointed until he discovers how much he can do with it. The humor, storyline and colorful pictures are a celebration of community, compassion and hard work.

Drawn Together
by Minh Lê
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When the young boy in this story visits his grandfather who speaks another language, they can’t communicate. They cycle through confusion, frustration, and silence until they sit down and draw together. On paper, they discover a shared love of art and storytelling. With few words and gorgeous illustrations, this story of the bonds between a grandfather and grandson is a visual feast and moving tale.

A Stopwatch from Grandpa
​by Loretta Garbutt

This book tackles a difficult subject in a simple, understandable way. When a child inherits Grampa's stopwatch after he dies, it becomes a way to explore the stages of grief by remembering the time they spent together. A sensitive, child-centered way to talk about loss and love.

Grandfather’s Journey
by Allan Say
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Allen Say's story of his grandfather’s journey from Japan is a simple, beautiful tale about love and missing home. Though it has deep themes, the story and illustrations will capture the youngest readers. It’s a perfect way to start a conversation about where your family comes from.

The Song and Dance Man
by Karen Ackerman
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The idea of grandparents having had other roles in life is a revelation to most grandchildren. This Caldecott winning story about a grandfather who used to perform on the stage is a wonderful jumping off point for grandfathers to share stories of their younger days. Despite the subtle drawings and story about things outside their experience (tap dancing! Vaudeville! attics!), my grands were mesmerized.

How to Babysit a Grandpa
by Jean Reagan
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Perfect for reading with Grandpa! The instructions for how to babysit a grandpa come down to doing all the things he loves to do with his grandchildren. The silly premise and playful illustrations will make delight your grandchildren. This makes a great gift for grandpa from the grandkids!

The Bee Tree
by Patricia Polacco

When Mary Ellen tires of reading, her grandfather teaches her how to find honey. The spirited description of the chase through the countryside is read-aloud at its best, with lots of repetition and delightful words. The final message will please any grandparent who loves to read.

The Hello, Goodbye Window
by Norton Juster
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Nanna and Poppy's Window is the lens through which we see a delightful relationship between grandparent and grandchild. I immediately loved both the story and the colorful illustrations by Chris Raschka, and my grandchildren adored it, too. It stands up to repeated readings--even three in a row! Each time we read it, we have a different conversation inspired by the book.

Looking for books about grandmothers? See our picks here!

Author Jerry Witkovsky was not alone in approaching his role as grandparent from instinct and habit. Most grandparents do the same, assuming that love and enthusiasm are enough. In The Grandest Love: Inspiring the Grandparent-Grandchild Connection, Witkovsky makes the case for another way of grandparenting: consciously, deliberately and by design. This more intentional approach is the key to creating relationships that will sustain and enrich the lives of the entire family.
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Witkovsky was a social-work professional long before he became a grandparent. His professional experience convinced him that the grandparent-grandchild relationship has the power to strengthen families and communities. In The Grandest Love, he shares the results of over 25 years of studying grandparents and the influence they can have on their families.

But this book is not a research book. It takes that research, pairs it with his own experience as a grandfather of six, and presents the reader with an action plan for building a foundation of connection, communication, and mutual support. The book includes questionnaires, quizzes and templates for creating your own plan for grandparenting. These are paired with sample scenarios and Witkovsky’s sound advice. Sprinkled throughout are heartwarming stories from grandchildren about the impact their grandparents had on their lives.

The Grandest Love includes two valuable chapters for families that may be experiencing conflict and poor communication. Chapter III, Gateway to the Grandest Love: Rebuilding Trust, Achieving Forgiveness, shares suggestions for healing the rift that may already be in place in your relationship with your adult children. Chapter IV, TLC (“Tender Loving Communication”): The Grandest Way to Avoid and Resolve Conflict, presents a model of communication that will avoid future rifts and misunderstandings.

Jerry Witkovsky’s book is a great resource for all grandparents who want to make a difference in the lives of their adult children and grandchildren. But if you are struggling with the relationship with your adult children, it’s a must read. Get your copy today.

Want another powerful tool for creating relationships that will sustain and enrich the lives of your family? Check out New Grandparent Essentials, our exclusive guide for grandparents.