A Guide to Navigating the Joys and Challenges of Being A Grandparent Today

One thing many grandparents overlook in their excitement over becoming a grandparent is how it changes the relationship with their adult children. The rules and habits of decades must be entirely re-shaped—sometimes quite suddenly. If there is any tension in the relationship, this change can amplify it.

Unconditional Love is a must read for all grandparents who want to ensure they are tending to the relationship with their grandchild’s parents.  It will help you understand the complicated family dimensions that are created when a new baby arrives.  Whether you have a strong and wonderful relationship with your child and their partner or not, Isay provides solid advice for forming the bond you wish to form with your grandchildren.
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Her acknowledgement of the conflicts, problems and politics of family life provides a framework for creating a healthy relationship with your grandchildren and their parents. Through interviews, research and her own experience, Isay provides plenty of food for thought for anyone who wants to make the most of being a grandparent.

If you are just starting your grandparent journey, or are a veteran grandparent who is experiencing any tension in your relationship with your adult children, this book is a must-read. You can likely find a copy at your local library, but it’s well worth buying, as it will be a useful reference in the years to come.

Purchase a copy now from Amazon.
(Did you know that if you make a purchase from Amazon through our links, we get a small commission even though it doesn’t cost you anything extra? That money goes to help cover the cost of creating and maintaining everything More Than Grand does. It’s an easy way for you to help keep our website up and running, and we appreciate your support!)

“To be purposeful is to be focused and intentional in your grandparenting. You are clear about what you are trying to contribute to your grandchildren’s happiness and how you hope to be useful to them and their parents.”

M. Winston Egan and Linda Egan, authors of  
Grandparenting on Purpose: Fresh Ideas, Activities and Traditions for Connecting with Grandchildren Near and Far

The Egans could be considered professional grandparents, with 22 grandchildren when their book was published, and they confess that they are a little “over the top” in their grandparenting. It is clearly a calling of the highest priority in this season of their lives, and this book is proof of their dedication to that calling. Grandparenting on Purpose is packed with ideas for connecting, and connecting genuinely and deeply. While not everyone is prepared to list grandparent as their primary job title, the Egans have much to teach those who may be more casual in their approach.

Grandparenting on Purpose will be especially helpful for those with older grandchildren. For example, the chapter entitled “Discovering the Needs of Your Grandchildren and Parents” has excellent ideas for connecting, but most really apply to children of school age and above. New grandparents will find plenty of inspiration for the years to come, but perhaps less that they can immediately apply.

Other chapters are dedicated to traditions, routines, and family themes, with in-depth explanations of the Egans’ own family’s practices. Peppered with feedback from their grandchildren, it’s clear that the traditions and activities they’ve initiated over the years have had a positive impact on their family. As they share what has worked for them, they also provide suggestion for implementing their ideas with your children and grandchildren. Each chapter ends with prompts for you to reflect and record, helping you to organize your thoughts and decide how to apply what you’ve read to your own family.

Grandparenting on Purpose has a distinctly Christian perspective, with occasional references to prayer and faith throughout the book. Some readers may find that is foreign to their own family experience. However, if you are looking for ideas for sharing your faith with your grandchildren, the chapter on building spirituality can be applied to any faith.

If you’ve created a Grand Plan through New Grandparent Essentials, and your intention is to be a fully-present influence on your grandchild’s life, Grandparenting on Purpose should be on your shelf to refer to in the years to come. (And if you haven't yet taken time to reflect on what your goals as a grandparent are, there's no better time than now!)

Order a copy of Grandparenting on Purpose from Amazon.
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Through a series of insightful essays, Marilyn McEntyre and Shirley Showalter join us on that learning edge. As they reflect on the joys and struggles of grandparenting, the authors encourage grandparents to observe, listen and learn from the younger generations.

Unlike most books filled with essays on grandparenting, The Mindful Grandparent: The Art of Loving Our Children's Children does more than just muse on the authors’ own experiences. Each chapter ends with suggestions and resources, giving readers room to grow into their own understanding of the topic at hand. For example, the chapter on “Grandparent Camp” shares Shirley’s experience with her own grandchildren and thoughts of why such powerful memories are made during their Grandparent Camp weeks. She then provides ideas for getting more information to plan your own camp for your grandchildren, and further reading on making memories.

The Mindful Grandparent also goes beyond the expected subjects of getting along with the other grandparents and not buying too many toys. While those things are covered, there are also reflections on encouraging natural talents and introducing racial justice and inclusion. This makes the book a far richer source of insight, and reinforces the core premise that grandparents have an enormous opportunity to influence their grandchildren’s lives in any number of areas.

This is not an instruction book. The authors make it clear that there is no single way to be a good grandparent. There are no “must do’s” involved, only invitations to consider. If you are someone who likes very specific action steps, this may frustrate you. If, however, you are looking for new ways to think about the impact you can have as a grandparent, it’s a perfect choice.

I read this book in tiny bites: one chapter a day with my lunch. It gave me room to think about each topic and how it might inform my own experience as a grandparent. It also gave me the opportunity to enjoy the beautiful writing from each of the authors. If you are looking for a way to deepen the experience of being a grandparent, The Mindful Grandparent is an excellent choice. 

Want a copy of your own to enjoy with your lunch? Order one today from Amazon!

Are you an energetic grandparent who loves to get in on your grandchildren’s games, or one who prefers to observe them as they play? In either case, you’ll find The Gift of Play both fascinating and helpful. Van Hoorn’s book explores and explains the importance of play for children, and how grandparents can foster and participate in their games and interests.

I consider myself more of an observer than a playmate, yet The Gift of Play expanded my understanding of play and made me realize I participate quite often. Reading stories, exploring math and nature, and enjoying art and music are all forms of play for children, and I love those activities. Judith Van Hoorn provides background on how a child’s mind develops and how play fosters that development, plus activity tips and charming stories of grandparents and grandchildren playing together.

Van Hoorn tackles each area of play separately, providing evidence for their importance and examples of how children engage in them. While most of the book focuses on early childhood, when play is the all-encompassing center of a child’s life, she includes a chapter on the play of older children. She recognizes that grandparents may not live near enough to play with their grandkids in person, and includes ideas for playing from a distance. She also provides a useful list of resources for grandparents who want to learn more about how they can enter into their grandchildren’s world and support their development.

Van Hoorn is an expert on play, having studied, taught and written about children’s play for decades. She has, quite literally, written the textbook on play. This book, however, is not a textbook. It’s an engaging resource for grandparents who want to help support their grandchildren’s learning and development while creating memories and deeper bonds. I highly recommend it for any grandparent who wants to make their time with their grandchildren richer and more meaningful.

Purchase a copy now from Amazon.

(Did you know that if you make a purchase from Amazon through our links, we get a small commission even though it doesn’t cost you anything extra? That money goes to help cover the cost of creating and maintaining everything More Than Grand does. It’s an easy way for you to help keep our website up and running, and we appreciate your support!)

These 8 Picture books about grandfathers make great gifts for grandfathers for Father’s Day or any occasion.

While grandmothers get the lion’s share of attention in the media, picture book authors are far more even-handed. Quality children’s books featuring grandfathers abound, and it was hard to choose our favorites! Here are eight pictures books with grandfathers that both we and our grandchildren love.

When Grandpa Give You a Toolbox 
by Jamie L.B. Deenihan

Written by the same author as When Grandma Give You a Lemon Tree, this story is just as much fun. When a boy gets a toolbox from his grandpa instead of the dollhouse he requested, he’s disappointed until he discovers how much he can do with it. The humor, storyline and colorful pictures are a celebration of community, compassion and hard work.

Drawn Together
by Minh Lê
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When the young boy in this story visits his grandfather who speaks another language, they can’t communicate. They cycle through confusion, frustration, and silence until they sit down and draw together. On paper, they discover a shared love of art and storytelling. With few words and gorgeous illustrations, this story of the bonds between a grandfather and grandson is a visual feast and moving tale.

A Stopwatch from Grandpa
​by Loretta Garbutt

This book tackles a difficult subject in a simple, understandable way. When a child inherits Grampa's stopwatch after he dies, it becomes a way to explore the stages of grief by remembering the time they spent together. A sensitive, child-centered way to talk about loss and love.

Grandfather’s Journey
by Allan Say
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Allen Say's story of his grandfather’s journey from Japan is a simple, beautiful tale about love and missing home. Though it has deep themes, the story and illustrations will capture the youngest readers. It’s a perfect way to start a conversation about where your family comes from.

The Song and Dance Man
by Karen Ackerman
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The idea of grandparents having had other roles in life is a revelation to most grandchildren. This Caldecott winning story about a grandfather who used to perform on the stage is a wonderful jumping off point for grandfathers to share stories of their younger days. Despite the subtle drawings and story about things outside their experience (tap dancing! Vaudeville! attics!), my grands were mesmerized.

How to Babysit a Grandpa
by Jean Reagan
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Perfect for reading with Grandpa! The instructions for how to babysit a grandpa come down to doing all the things he loves to do with his grandchildren. The silly premise and playful illustrations will make delight your grandchildren. This makes a great gift for grandpa from the grandkids!

The Bee Tree
by Patricia Polacco

When Mary Ellen tires of reading, her grandfather teaches her how to find honey. The spirited description of the chase through the countryside is read-aloud at its best, with lots of repetition and delightful words. The final message will please any grandparent who loves to read.

The Hello, Goodbye Window
by Norton Juster
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Nanna and Poppy's Window is the lens through which we see a delightful relationship between grandparent and grandchild. I immediately loved both the story and the colorful illustrations by Chris Raschka, and my grandchildren adored it, too. It stands up to repeated readings--even three in a row! Each time we read it, we have a different conversation inspired by the book.

Looking for books about grandmothers? See our picks here!

Author Jerry Witkovsky was not alone in approaching his role as grandparent from instinct and habit. Most grandparents do the same, assuming that love and enthusiasm are enough. In The Grandest Love: Inspiring the Grandparent-Grandchild Connection, Witkovsky makes the case for another way of grandparenting: consciously, deliberately and by design. This more intentional approach is the key to creating relationships that will sustain and enrich the lives of the entire family.
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Witkovsky was a social-work professional long before he became a grandparent. His professional experience convinced him that the grandparent-grandchild relationship has the power to strengthen families and communities. In The Grandest Love, he shares the results of over 25 years of studying grandparents and the influence they can have on their families.

But this book is not a research book. It takes that research, pairs it with his own experience as a grandfather of six, and presents the reader with an action plan for building a foundation of connection, communication, and mutual support. The book includes questionnaires, quizzes and templates for creating your own plan for grandparenting. These are paired with sample scenarios and Witkovsky’s sound advice. Sprinkled throughout are heartwarming stories from grandchildren about the impact their grandparents had on their lives.

The Grandest Love includes two valuable chapters for families that may be experiencing conflict and poor communication. Chapter III, Gateway to the Grandest Love: Rebuilding Trust, Achieving Forgiveness, shares suggestions for healing the rift that may already be in place in your relationship with your adult children. Chapter IV, TLC (“Tender Loving Communication”): The Grandest Way to Avoid and Resolve Conflict, presents a model of communication that will avoid future rifts and misunderstandings.

Jerry Witkovsky’s book is a great resource for all grandparents who want to make a difference in the lives of their adult children and grandchildren. But if you are struggling with the relationship with your adult children, it’s a must read. Get your copy today.

Want another powerful tool for creating relationships that will sustain and enrich the lives of your family? Check out New Grandparent Essentials, our exclusive guide for grandparents.

Long-distance grandparents around the world rejoiced when Helen Ellis released her book in April, 2021. While living far away from grandchildren is never easy, the global pandemic made even rare visits impossible for many families. Ellis’ book, with its many stories and academic tone, gives comfort to those grandparents who are struggling with their long-distance role. Being a Distance Grandparent covers both the emotional experience and the practicalities of long-distance grandparenting: How hard it is to worry from afar. Where to stay when you visit. The uncertainties, the jealousies, and the difficulties of different time zones.
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Ellis started the project as her master’s thesis, and it shows in the way her information is presented. Each topic that impacts distance families is presented, discussed and illustrated with real-world stories from distance families themselves. It’s a book about being a distance grandparent, rather than a book of advice for long-distance grandparents. Ellis makes it clear that she has not set out to tell you how to be a good distance grandparent, as only you and your family can know how that looks. However, she does sprinkle advice amongst her stories and experiences, and you will find many helpful ideas throughout the book.

Being a Distance Grandparent will be especially relatable for internationally separated families. Though it has plenty for all distance grandparents, many of the topics weren’t issues faced by my own family, separated only by a few US states and two time zones.  For those families who are dealing with longer distances and international borders, Ellis’ book will help you realize that you aren’t alone. What’s more, you’ll see ways to overcome the struggles you are experiencing as you try to forge and maintain a relationship with your grandchildren.

​No matter what the distance separating your family, reading Being a Distance Grandparent will give you a deeper understanding of how to minimize its impact. Order a copy today.

​The best gifts for new grandparents for Christmas and throughout the year

Trying to decide what to buy a new grandparent for the holidays this year? While customized new grandparent mugs or shirts with funny new grandparent quotes are easy to find and tempting to buy, here are some new grandparent gift ideas that they are guaranteed to love.

 A Digital Frame

The best gifts for new grandparents will help them feel connected to their new grandbaby, and a digital frame like the ones from Nixplay are our top choice. Nixplay’s advantage is the ease of use: parents can add new photos and video clips from their phone or computer, and they instantly appear in the frame at Pops and DeeDee’s house. Having a slideshow of your favorite photos sitting on desk means your family is always just a glance away. Buy now on Amazon.

A Stylish Tote

If you want to know what to give a new grandmother for Christmas, the classy Mazzy tote by Seam Reap is a truly special choice. Whether she fills it with baby supplies for a day out or packs it for a trip to visit the baby, this chic, spacious bag is the perfect accessory. There are classic and edgy options, and I love that it is designed and handmade in the US by a small, woman-owned business. See all the styles here. 

Everyone benefits when grandparents and parents are on the same page! New Grandparent Essentials is a digital guide that arms new grandparents with the tools and information they need to prepare for this new stage in family life. It includes the latest on baby care and safety, conversation starters to help establish a supportive partnership with parents, tested advice to avoid common pitfalls, curated resources and more. Parents and grandparents agree New Grandparent Essentials is the ideal way to understand their new roles, which makes it one of the best gifts for new grandparents. Learn more here.

Books celebrating this stage in life are a thoughtful way to welcome new grandparents to their new role. Jane Isay’s Unconditional Love: A Guide to Navigating the Joys and Challenges of Being a Grandparent Today is a handbook for a successful partnership with parents. I think it should be required reading for every new grandparent! Not only does it provide an inspiring look at the wonders of being a grandparent, it also provides solid, actionable advice on how to avoid the pitfalls that await even the most well-intentioned grandparents. Get a copy here. 

Nanaville by Anna Quindlan is another wonderful celebration of being a new grandparent. Find it here.

A new grandparent ornament

A special ornament to mark the birth of a new grandchild is another gift idea for new grandparents. Click on the photos below to buy these from Amazon. 

No matter what you decide to buy new grandparents, keep in mind that they’ve already gotten the best gift of all: a new grandbaby!