Music is a magical way to build strong bonds with your grandchildren–and have fun while you are at it!

Before he could walk, my grandson could dance. Whenever he heard a lively song, he began to move his body to the beat. When his muscles and coordination caught up to his desire to move, he became a dancing machine. Naturally, we all provided lots of lively music to encourage him, and we were rewarded with performance after performance.

We are wired to recognize rhythm from the earliest age, and nearly every culture has songs that are meant to soothe babies and entertain young children. Whether you are a music lover or not, music is an incredible way to connect with your grandchildren. Here are five ways to use music when you are playing with your grandchildren.

1. Singing and reciting
Even those among us who were not blessed with vocal talent can sing a lullaby or The Itsy Bitsy Spider. Hearing these songs over and over teaches important elements of speech and communication, like tempo, pitch, and rhythm. The call and response of songs like Down by the Bay mimic conversation and improve listening skills. What’s more, sharing the songs and rhymes that our parents and grandparents taught us connects the generations. Plus it’s fun!

2. Rhythm instruments
Hand a baby a spoon, and they will bang it on whatever they can reach. Making music is really just a refined version of making noise. As babies learn they can make noise, they will delight in every opportunity to do so. Providing them with ways to make noise helps develop their ability to make music. Simple rhythm instruments like shakers, tambourines, and small drums are a wonderful way to introduce musical instruments. Homemade versions are easy to create and just as effective. Provide different size cans and containers and a wooden spoon or two, and sit down with your grandchild and tap out rhythms together.

3. Parent-child music classes
Many communities offer parent-child music classes designed for very young children. These make a thoughtful gift for young parents, provided their schedule allows for it. If you are a local grandparent, you might even be able to tag along or fill in for the parents. To find a class, try Music Together, Kindermusik, or Google “Parent child music classes” plus their zip code.

4. Sharing favorites
Music is a great way to share parts of yourself with your grandchildren, no matter their age. What are your favorite songs? Your favorite artists? Your favorite genres? Share them! Play classical music during breakfast, or Garth Brooks while you build with blocks. Not only are you exposing them to things you love, you are creating powerful musical memories. Play Purple Rain often enough, and some day they will hear it somewhere and think of you.

5. Live performances
Children often don’t realize that the songs they hear at home are made by real people playing real instruments. Taking them to a live performance can inspire and delight them, and sharing live music can help connect them with their community. Look for local performances aimed at children, or summer concerts in the park. As they get older, attending concerts and recitals can broaden their horizons and bond you through a shared love of music.

Encouraging babies and small children to sing and move to music is a lot of fun—and has the added benefit of helping their cognitive and social development. As grandparents, it’s an ideal activity for the time we spend with them, even from a distance.

More ways to connect:
5 Ways to Be More Present with Your Grandkids
Connecting with Grandchildren Through Reading
Being Silly Keeps You Young

As this grandparenting journey continues, I am always seeking ways to be intentional with my family. A few years ago, I began giving experience-type gifts to my children's families. A typical gift has been a yearly membership to their local zoo or a museum the whole family might enjoy. When my husband and I visited, we could go along and get to see them enjoy the gift. I usually asked for suggestions since I didn't live in their areas.
 
This year, my husband and I live near some of our grandchildren. As we were thinking about Christmas gifts, I came up with the idea of giving my three oldest grands, who are siblings and range in age from 10 to 6, an Adventure Box. My husband and I came up with about 7-10 ideas for day trips in our area. Some of the outings were trips to a few local parks with playgrounds, a military museum, and indoor playground, a trip to the movie theater, and an air and space museum. My husband is a veteran, and we wanted to share that aspect of our lives with them. We also included some fun restaurants and dessert shops.
 
We wrote them on strips of card stock and placed them in a little tin box. The plan is that once a month, one of the children will draw an adventure from the box, and we will plan the outing. We tried to keep the ideas simple ones that would take about half of the day including lunch. Our goal is to get to share these days with them and build memories together. We didn't want them to be costly or too elaborate, especially since we aren't able to include all our grands in these trips; two are too young, and two live in another state. These grands are homeschooled, so Fridays are usually good days to plan an adventure. 
 
It has been harder to coordinate our schedules than I anticipated, but it's worth the time. An added benefit is that our daughter gets a few hours of free time on these adventure days! It’s always fun to get to help your adult child too.
 
We ate lunch at McDonald's on our first outing, which started us off with many laughs. We headed to the 45th Infantry Museum here in Oklahoma City and made quick progress through the exhibits. As we looked at the static exhibits outside, we noticed a driving range across the fence, and many golf balls were discovered on the ground. The kids started having a golf ball hunt, and we all enjoyed filling our pockets with balls. Their mom could decide if the balls would be kept (or not).
 
We stopped for a cookie and then a short stop at the local university where my husband and I met. The kids wanted to hear how and where we met and how Papa John proposed. It was fun sharing this part of their family history with them. The day wasn't all planned. We went with the flow as the adventure progressed. Some of the most fun was in the moments that weren't in the original plan. I think the point is to be flexible and know that the plan for the day is just a starting point. The kids probably enjoyed the spontaneous moments the most. We sang and danced in McDonald's, sat out in the sun eating our cookies and relived our courtship story for them.
 
Whether you live near your grandchildren and can go on these adventures with them or live in another area, you can make this idea fit your situation. 
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What if there were an app that let you spend true quality time with your grandchildren who live far away? A way to engage during video calls with grandchildren that you enjoyed as much as they did, that let you watch them learn and play, and allowed you to deepen your long-distance relationship with your grandchildren? Would you believe me if I told you there is?

I’ve tried a lot of apps designed to connect long distance grandparents with their grandchildren. If you look, however, you won’t see much about them on this blog. That’s because the apps with long distance activities for grandparents and grandchildren that I’ve tested have fallen short for me, and I won’t recommend something that isn’t going to add value to video chats with the grandkids.

Recently, I was invited to test out Kinoo, a new twist on games during video calls with grandchildren ages 3-7. Their website promises that “Kinoo takes video chat to the next level with engaging activities designed for grandparents and grandkids.” I agreed to try it, and they kindly sent my grandchildren a Kinoo Controller wand (more about that in a minute) so we could take advantage of all the activities that are offered. 

Kinoo’s Technology is Seamless
The wand arrived just a day before the other grandparents did, so it took a couple of weeks before we had a chance to try it out. I wasn’t in a big hurry, because I expected an experience much like the other ones I’ve had: the kids get frustrated by the technology and I get bored by the activities.

I was wrong about the technology. The set-up was simple and streamlined. The look of the platform is cheerful and friendly, and the characters that guide you through activities are cute without being annoying. It’s easy to navigate for both grandparent and grandchild. Kinoo worked flawlessly from start to finish each time we played. (To download the Kinoo app, you need a US-based Apple App Store account. Use of Kinoo requires an iPhone or iPad, 2017 or newer, running iOS 13 or later.)

Kinoo’s Activities: Video Chat Games for Grandkids That You’ll Enjoy
I was wrong about the activities, too. They were fun! Some are versions of well-known games, like matching and memory games. Most have different levels of difficulty and layers of depth. For example, I played a sock matching game with my four-year-old granddaughter. After taking turns to successfully match all the colorful pairs of socks, two laundry baskets appeared and we had to sort them into stripes and dots. It extended the fun—and the learning. Other activities, like a trip to the moon, are developed just for the app by Kinoo's team of experts in social-emotional learning.
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Throughout the games, you can see your grandchild’s face well (even on my tiny iPhone Mini screen!). The best part of the sock matching game was seeing her lean back, smile and say “Your turn!” each time she put two socks together. Was it as good as being there? Of course not. Was it almost as good? Yes.

Children love to imitate adults and will love to help around the house--especially with these fun ideas.

Have you ever looked to see how many methods are out there to help convince children to do chores? How many books aimed at parents, and how many storybooks there are about characters who find out doing chores is fun? Just goggle “how to get kids to do chores” and you’ll be overwhelmed by the search results. Surely one of these magic methods works!

Well, I certainly never learned the magic while I was a parent. More often than not, I just did the work myself rather than fight with them. If only I’d known about the simplest approach! My youngest was 7 when I first learned about the Montessori approach to teaching children to help care for their environment. They call it “practical life”, and it’s very simple:

Give them them right-sized tools to help, and let them help you as you care for your home. Young children love imitating adults, and if you give an 18-month-old a rag, he will help you dust. Give a three-year-old a mop and a spray bottle full of water, and she will help you clean the floors. Show a two-year-old how to fold laundry or put away clean silverware, and you’ve got a willing helper. Will you get spotless floors or perfectly folded clothes? No, but that’s not the goal. The goal is to let them help take care of their home and belongings from the earliest age possible.

In the book Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans, 
author Michaeleen Doucleff points out that in ancient cultures, children worked alongside their parents as soon as they were able. A review on The Booklion shared, “In western culture, we tend to separate our world from our children’s. We set them up with child-friendly activities while we do the dishes, laundry, and cooking on our own. But young children, Doucleff claims, want to help with the family. They can spray, wipe, stir, hold tools, and fetch things. The trick is to do chores with the child; it’s an opportunity for closeness and teaching rather than isolated chore charts and commands to clean up certain rooms.” (read the full review—maybe the book is one you want to share with your grandchild’s parents?)

Although it’s sold as a toy, the tools in Melissa & Doug Let's Play House Dust! Sweep! Mop! 6 Piece Pretend Play Set  are study enough to do more than pretend. My grandkids have had a blast using them all.
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Elizabeti's Doll, by Stephanie Stuve-Bodeen , shows a family where the children are naturally responsible for much of the family work. My grandchildren love it! There are two other Elizabeti books that also model the same concept--and are equally engaging stories!​

Are you one of the many grandparents who hopes their grandchildren will grow up with a generous spirit? One way we can foster that is by creating rituals of giving. Here are three ideas from grandparents (including me!):

THE POWER OF LOOSE CHANGE
I’ve shared this story in the past, but here it is again: When our children were small, we saved our spare change all year long in a special jar. Every December, we’d count and roll the coins, then take the kids to the toy store. There, they’d each get to figure out what to buy with their share of the money we’d collected. The final step was putting those toys in the box for Toys for Tots. It was such a tangible way to show them how pennies and dimes could add up, and to let them in on the excitement of giving to a good cause. Now we look forward to doing the same with our grandchildren.

GIVE THEM A VOICE
From the time they were too young to read, we read to the four grands on holidays about causes that needed help. They had to decide which one they wanted to share any money they were gifted. As they got older, we gave them printouts telling them about certain charities and sent them into a room together to vote on which one to support that year. They learned about what percentage of their good “fortune” to share and to evaluate the different causes. Now grown, when told that part of their “gift” went to a certain charity, we get rave responses. Teaching caring needs to start early. “Storylady”

ONE FOR ME, ONE FOR YOU
Every once in a while, we take our granddaughter to choose a new book or toy. We always let her choose two: one to keep, and one to add to the giving box. When the holidays roll around, we take her along when we deliver the giving box to a local gift drive. This way, we aren’t just thinking about giving at the holidays, but all year long. “Grandpa Gene”
 
How do you teach your grandchildren about sharing and giving? Please share in the comments!

If you are interested, a piggy bank like the one in the photo is available here. 

Nurturing mindfulness in your grandchildren gives them a gift they can use for life.

The hot days of summer are here, and with three small children at home, peaceful moments are bound to be in short supply at my grandchildren's house! Especially for my daughter-in-law, who is home all day while my son works ridiculously long hours. The heat and humidity in their home state is unbearable for my SoCal constitution, so I avoid visiting during the summer. I try to make up for not being on the ground to help out by providing activities they can do with minimal parental commitment.

This month, I sent a virtual mindfulness retreat. The simplest definition of mindfulness is paying full attention to something, and paying attention is a crucial skill for kids! Helping them learn to focus, breath and relax will help them deal with frustration and stress, something that is part of everyone’s life. What did I include?

First, Yogi, a yoga card game that includes a variety of kids’ activities. 

While yoga and mindfulness are two distinct things, they share many elements. Yoga helps kids pay attention to their bodies and breath. It’s also a great activity when it’s too hot for a bike ride! The report from the ground was that they loved it. ​

​Next, My First Mandalas Coloring Book  and new markers from Crayola, Pip-Squeaks Skinnies. These washable markers are designed for little hands, and the box of 64 colors was met with complete and utter delight. SO MANY COLORS! Despite that, a certain three-year-old still colored her first mandala almost entirely in pink.

​The adorable board book, Mindfulness Moments for Kids: Breathe Like a Bear by Kira Willey, shares mindful meditation exercises for the very young. Anni Betts’ beautiful illustrations featuring a sweet bear cub show children how to feel calm. ​

A classic, The Important Book by Margaret Wise Brown, asks children to think deeply about the importance of everyday objects. The simple concept and colorful pictures resonated with the grandchildren: it’s been a repeated request at story time since they got it.  ​

And finally, ​A Handful of Quiet: Happiness in Four Pebbles, by Thich Nhat Hanh, shares the concept of mindfulness in a way that children can understand and practice. Pebble mediation is a simple practice that can relieve stress, increase concentration, nourish gratitude, and help children deal with difficult emotions. It’s a book we might all want to read!

I also sent a tiny gift for my daughter-in-law: some soap that smells like one of her favorite teas. My hope is that when she uses it, she will breathe deeply, remember she is loved, and find a mindful moment of joy—or at least peace!

Like any other skill, mindfulness takes practice to develop. Introducing it while they are young will help your grandchildren learn to understand their emotions and develop a useful tool for handling life’s stress. 

Do you practice mindfulness? Have you shared it with your grandchildren? Let us know in the comments!

​A Secret Weapon for Connection with Your Grandkids

Did you read about my grandparenting vision statement? One of my core beliefs is that my purpose is to teach my grandchildren to explore the world. This can be hard as a long-distance grandparent, especially during a pandemic. I’d love to regularly take them on trips around their town—or mine (or anyone’s really!). I’d like to point out the constellations, show them the difference between a lake and an ocean, and tell them about all the places we’ve lived. I wish we could sit down with maps and make plans for where to explore next. Unfortunately, that’s not something that can happen as regularly as I’d like.

So recently, I sent a box full of ways for them to plan and explore the world from their house. How will this foster connection? Knowing where you are in the world, and where the people you love are, helps make sense of the universe. It creates a framework for conversations, and a springboard for future plans. Plus, it shows them that I value exploration, while giving them something new to learn and do!
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Here’s what I included:

I also sent maps: this set of United States, world and solar system maps, and a local street map of their city so they could find where they lived. They were a big hit, as was this compass!

And finally, I sent materials to make their own maps: some graph paper and colored pencils. My grandson worked hard on his map of his house and yard, but you'll have to follow me on Instagram to see the exciting backyard he designed!

Family traditions are important--and can teach your grandchildren valuable lessons.

When our children were small, we saved our spare change all year long in a special jar. Every December, we’d count and roll the coins, then take the kids to the toy store. There, they’d each get to choose what to buy with their share of the money we’d collected. Their decisions were never easy—they each thought long and hard about what they might want if they only got one toy for Christmas.

After everyone had figured out how to spend their allotment, we’d take our toys to the checkout stand. Every year, a surprised cashier always happily took our payment despite it being entirely in change.
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The final step was letting each child put the new toys they had selected in the box for Toys for Tots. Granted, the year my youngest was not quite two, she had to be coerced to give up the baby doll she had chosen! I still have a very clear mental image of the longing look on her face as we walked away from the donation box.