Anyone else feeling sad that the trip to or from the grandkids just isn’t going to happen this summer? How about creating a virtual vacation?
Last year, we had an idyllic week by the lake with all of our kids and grandkids. We watched the 14-month-old learn to walk, pushing a milk crate around the deck. Pops had a ready helper for every chore and a willing companion for errands. We had long dinners outside, early morning kayak rides, and endless bowls of cherries. One evening a raccoon even came by and washed his hands in the stream on the property right in front of us, like the universe had gifted us a special memory.
I spent every afternoon luxuriating in having my family all in one place. I knew then that we were lucky to be able to gather everyone, and that I shouldn’t expect it to happen every year. It’s hard to get everyone’s schedule to align, and with their third baby in four years, my son’s family warned us that they won’t be traveling for a couple of years.
Still, I didn’t expect a pandemic to make it even harder to be together.
When you first heard what your future grandchild was to be named, were you instantly alarmed?
"Muriel is too old-fashioned!" "Juniper is too modern!"
"Slade is just weird!" "Feebee? Spell it right!"
"I knew a dreadful girl named Lindsay!"
"George is such an ugly name!"
Of course you have opinions—names are powerful and, usually, permanent. One in five grandparents admits to hating a grandchild’s name. Actually hating it! What do you do if you are one of them?
First, what you don’t do: tell your grandchild’s parents that you hate it. You don’t need to fake enthusiasm, but you do not want to be among the 2% of grandparents who have a permanent falling-out over something that is, ultimately, none of your business. Grandparenting is one long lesson in when to bite your tongue, and it starts here.
If you can do so without revealing how much you dislike their choice, ask why the name is meaningful to them. Their reasons may help you see the name in a different light. Perhaps George was a beloved uncle, or Lindsay a best friend who died young.
Next, realize that the name will likely grow on you as soon as you have a delightful baby to attach it to--more than 75% of the grandparents who initially disliked their grandchild's name have learned to accept it over time. If you really can’t stand it, try out a nickname that will be your special name for the child. Two things to be careful of: if the parents object, respect their wishes. And make sure it’s something that you can use when they are a teenager!
Did you hate your grandchild's name when you first heard it? Please share your experience in the comments!
Have you downloaded our free New Grandparent Checklist yet? It's full of ideas for getting ready for this exciting new role!