More than Grand
  • Home
  • About
    • Contact
  • Blog
  • Resources
    • New Grandparent Essentials
    • Gifts for Grandchildren
    • Best Books for New Grandparents
    • 7 Things New Grandparents Need
    • New Grandparent Checklist
    • 6 Tips for Protecting Your Grandchildren on Social Media
    • 242 Grandmother Nicknames
  • Shop

​3 Steps to Peace, Love and Being Joyfully Welcomed

11/17/2019

0 Comments

 
Picture
Sitting in the airport during a layover recently, I overheard a woman talking on her phone to a clearly sympathetic friend. She was complaining that she didn’t get to spend as much time as she liked with her grandchildren, even though she lived just fifteen minutes away from them.
 
She must have had a long layover, too, because her conversation went on and on. Grievance after grievance was aired, including:
  • “I know she says he’s allergic to eggs, but he just gets a little rash on his belly, so I don’t see the harm in them.”
  • “She’s always complaining that I let them stay up too late, but they get so excited at my house that I just can’t get them to go to bed.”
  • “She acts like I have no idea how to raise kids! She gives me all these instructions if I’m watching them. I just do things my way when she’s not around.”
 
If I’d been the kind of person who doles out unwanted advice to strangers in person (instead of on the internet!), I could have told her exactly why her daughter limits her access to her grandchildren. Instead I’m telling you, so you can avoid falling into the same trap. If you want your children to welcome your visits, there are three simple steps.
 
  1. Ask: Ask them how you can help. Ask what the rules are. Ask what you should do about food, gifts, discipline, bedtime, screen time, tummy time. Ask about the best time to visit. Ask again how you can help. 
  2. Listen: Really listen. Make sure you understand. Make notes if you have to. Set an alarm on your phone for bedtime if you have to. Ask for clarification if you need it. Ask again if you’ve forgotten.
  3. Respect: You don’t have to agree with them, but you have to follow the rules. They are the parents, and they have the right and responsibility to raise their children the way they see fit.
 
The third one is the hardest of all, because it requires a mind shift from the roles of a lifetime. As a parent, your children had to play by your rules. But as a grandparent, you have to play by theirs. If you can make that shift, your relationship with your children will be a source of fulfillment instead of frustration, and you will be a welcome and valuable part of your grandchildren’s lives.
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Get new posts by email:
    Picture

    Categories

    All
    Activities
    Advice
    Books For Grandchildren
    Books For Grandparents
    Books For Toddlers
    Equipment
    Gifts For Grandkids
    Helping New Parents
    Make Fun Happen
    New Grandparents
    Stay Connected
    Toys
    Trends In Childcare
    What Grandparents Need To Know

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019

Want useful tips, stories and giveaways in your inbox? Pop your email address below!
    Built with ConvertKit
    Picture

    © 2019-2022 More Than Grand LLC

    Privacy Policy // Disclaimer // Terms & Conditions // Refund Policy

    • Home
    • About
      • Contact
    • Blog
    • Resources
      • New Grandparent Essentials
      • Gifts for Grandchildren
      • Best Books for New Grandparents
      • 7 Things New Grandparents Need
      • New Grandparent Checklist
      • 6 Tips for Protecting Your Grandchildren on Social Media
      • 242 Grandmother Nicknames
    • Shop